Are Coldplay Splitting Up?
Teh Interwebs is alight with the news that Chris Martin has hinted that Coldplay could split up by 2010. He said, “I’m 31 now and I don’t think bands should keep going past 33. So we’re trying to pack in as much as possible. Up until the end of next year, we’ll just go for it in every sense.”
For those of us whose SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING and ETERNAL LIFE IN THE HEREAFTER depends on this particular Indie quartet continuing to make records and spread the Gospel of Chris, this comes as somewhat of a shock. What is going on here?
DON’T PANIC! (lol!) It’s at times like these that you turn to the Church for guidance, and the CoCM is here for you.
COLDPLAY WON’T SPLIT UP - CHRIS IS ONCE AGAIN SENDING A MESSAGE TO THOSE WITH EARS TO HEAR.
Think about what he said for a moment - 33? Why 33?
WHO ELSE STOPPED PERFORMING AT 33?
33 is also the number of grades in Scottish Rite Freemasonry, a shadowy cabal who rule the world from behind the thrones. They can put a president in the White House, and they can kill a princess if they want to. Chris is once again coding HIDDEN INFORMATION in his lyrics, information that might see him silenced if it was more obvious.
WHO ELSE WAS SILENCED FOR SPEAKING THE TRUTH?
But that’s not all…
Mark King was 33 when he wrote Lessons in Love, Chris’s fave record. Gwyneth Paltrow was 33 when they married. Between them, U2 own 33 houses. 33 is George Bush’s IQ. The Beatles’ albums play at 33 & 1/3 RPM. There are 33 possible combinations of bases in the human genome. Draw a line from Roslin Chapel to the Louvre in Paris, and it is EXACTLY 33 long. If you add 10 and 23, it equals 33. MERE COINCIDENCE?
IN A NUN’S TWAT!
Chris be with you.
(With thanks to the Most Reverend Garlic Host)
November 20 2008 | Doctrine and Interpretation and news | 18 Comments »
