ABOUT OUR FOUNDER
Dean Drobbingdon was born in 1972, in a humble council house in a small town in Scotland, England. He was precoscious from an early age, walking by eight months, talking by fourteen, and fluent in four languages by three years.
His school career, however, was marred by the systemic abuse and bullying he experienced. Marked forever as an “outsider”, this was to have a lasting impact on the young man’s psyche. Unsurprisingly, robbed of any opportunity for stimulation or self-expression, he did not excel; but he did become the man who would go on to found The Church of Chris Martin.
It was only a matter of time before he started to think about putting his own spiritual ideas into some kind of order…
But it took a fateful trip to the dentist’s surgery to fix an abcess that was to lead to the founding of The Church. AROBTTH had come out only a week before. While under the effects of the gas, Dean had a vision. The Spirit of Chris Martin visited him, and filled him with light. Chris Martin said unto him, “Burn them all!”
The founder was shocked; but Chris was not finished. “Each one is a prayer for a starving AIDs child. Burn them all.” The background faded from the image of a drab dentist’s surgery, to a cathederal, filled with candles.
For a while, the Founder thought that Chris was also telling him to “Spit!”, but it turned out that it was just the nurse and he was still fucked off the gas.
From this miraculous beginning, the Church of Chris Martin established itself, going online in 2001. Today, it is the fastest-growing indie-rock-based religion in the world. Can you afford NOT to join?
April 11 2008 12:13 am | Church History
Aids » Blog Archive » ABOUT OUR FOUNDER on 11 Apr 2008 at 12:56 am #
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rob driscoll on 13 Apr 2008 at 1:24 am #
Hey Dean, You are a genious, just like the rest of us! Just let your talent grow. May Chris be with you. Rob.
The Church of Chris Martin » Martinis or Martinites? on 30 Dec 2008 at 7:42 pm #
[…] we launch our latest poll - what should the followers of Chris Martin (as revealed by Dean Drobbingdon)call themselves? VOTE […]
Eden Noir on 15 Mar 2009 at 3:50 am #
What?He started talking when he was 14 and could speak 4 languages when he was 3 years old?Are you stupid?And Scotland is not England!
Aurora on 28 Apr 2009 at 2:48 pm #
The vision in the dental chair was just confirmation of your oral fixation. Chris’s vision came to me while I was getting my nails done at the salon. The Vietnamese nail technician took my hand gently and babbled something which led to my looking into the plate glass window and I saw an apparition of Chris amongst the peoples of the world bestowing knowledge and goodness! What you had-Dean-was an vision of an “aspiration” but nevertheless spiritual in that it moved you to found this wonderful Church!
P.S. I am glad to know you are a Scot-they are so nice and I love their beautiful country-as contrasted with those cold Brits with their nasty food. (the Great Chris(t) Martin EXCEPTED!
....... on 27 Oct 2009 at 3:54 am #
Um hello…
“fastest-growing indie-rock-based religion in the world”
Maybe because its THE ONLY indie-rock based religion, because the idea is so damn wack. I think your still on that happy crack buddy.