Chris loves Beyonce?
DESPITE being a committed vegetarian, CHRIS MARTIN seems to have got himself involved in some serious beef.
While his wife GWYNETH PALTROW was in New York recently, shooting her new movie, rumours circulated concerning their relationship. They had a fight in a trailer. Gwyneth has recently been seen kissing a MYSTERIOUS UNNAMED FAT MAN. “They are fighting for their marriage,” one close friend of the couple claimed.
But that might not be all that Chris Martin has to fight for. Because after getting drunk at JAY-Z and BEYONCÉ’S wedding reception, Chris found himself impressed by more than just the rap star’s bling. To put it bluntly, Chris seems ready to trade in STICK-THIN geeky Gwyneth for an altogether CURVIER model.
And younger.
And richer.
And more talented.
But rapper, former drug-dealer and psychopath JAY-Z is rumoured to be VERY not happy with Martin’s attentions on his fiancée, Beyonce. He has threatened to “pop a cap in his milk-white ass”, and sent him an email which simply contained a link to a YouTube video of “Fix You.”
Coldplay have brought the release of their forthcoming album forward – presumably so that Chris can be on tour as soon as possible. Jay-Z might have quit the music biz, but it sounds like he might have ONE MORE BIG HIT left in him.
April 07 2008 05:20 pm | news
Beyonce » Chris loves Beyonce? on 07 Apr 2008 at 7:21 pm #
[…] drobbingdon wrote an interesting post today on Chris loves Beyonce?Here’s a quick excerptBecause after getting drunk at JAY-Z and BEYONCÉ’S wedding reception, Chris found himself impressed by more than just the rap star’s bling. To put it bluntly, Chris seems ready to trade in STICK-THIN geeky Gwyneth for an altogether … […]
» Chris loves Beyonce? on 08 Apr 2008 at 1:45 am #
[…] drobbingdon delivers once again. Chris loves Beyonce? is well-crafted. […]
Sarah on 19 Jun 2008 at 6:51 pm #
lmao. chill. The big fat man is none other than chef Mario Batali.
Chris and Beyonce do look rather cute in that picture though.
nita on 19 Jul 2008 at 4:35 am #
ah I don’t believe one word of it… complete rubbish
Cyn on 06 Aug 2008 at 5:14 am #
Yes, Gwyneth is kissing the IRON CHEF!
cony on 06 Aug 2008 at 9:37 pm #
jajaja ojala q no sea verdad x q seria fome chris martin es muxo pa esa mina q esta babosa por el
xox on 08 Aug 2008 at 8:31 am #
Que esa estupida de Beyonce se vaya mucho al diablo!!! Junto con su estupido y ridiculo (igual que ella), Jay-Z! Los dos son unos idiotas! They only dream of being able to have the beautiful marriage that Gwyneth and Chris have! SORRY Beyonce and Jay-Z money CAN’T buy true LOVE!!! And one more thing Beyonce can try as hard as she can, but she will never be as talented as Gwyneth and same goes for that retard named Jay-Z!!! Yes, I said it, Beyonce is not talented! And I know I am not the only one who believes that! She has no voice and when it comes to acting she should just stick to what she does best, which is being a slut!
Anonymous on 19 Aug 2008 at 12:37 am #
well said xox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yo on 31 Aug 2008 at 10:57 pm #
I’m totally agree with you, xox
nat on 22 Sep 2008 at 2:33 am #
gwyneth sucks!!!
Evelyn on 13 Oct 2008 at 6:04 pm #
I think Chris loves Gwyneth very much, just that maybe the fight was too much and just wanna hang with his mates, and that beyonce.
xxlove coldplayxx
xxlove Beyoncexx
shay on 26 Oct 2008 at 12:51 am #
omg non of that is true. chris and jay z are like best fiends.. and what couples DONT fight? and chris loves gwyneth. rubbish.
yes on 30 Oct 2008 at 1:58 am #
I think that all of you are just talking for free, ´cause anything that you say will not change what is really going on with beyonce, jay-z and chris.
so why don you just be quiet, and let them be.
it´s their problem. stay out of it!!!
CHRIS IS SPECIAL, so as everyone else.
Ja on 15 Nov 2008 at 9:24 pm #
Beyonce made 80 million last year alone, so I doubt we can say richer.
tweety on 29 Nov 2008 at 12:33 am #
jay-z kick his white behind 4 missing with beyonce and im ur 2 biggset fan
gtg
luv ya
tweety on 29 Nov 2008 at 12:35 am #
beyonce u kno u want jay-z well wat r u waiting 4
LS on 05 Dec 2008 at 6:52 am #
yep because jay z doesn’t like chris martin that much he agreed to go on tour with them to wembley next year
lieeesss
Bebeshka on 01 Jan 2009 at 4:37 am #
? ???? ????? ?? ??????? ????? ????, ?? ???-?? ?????? ?? ???????? ????? ???????? ????????.
rick on 06 Jan 2009 at 9:06 am #
If I had a wife as beautiful as Gwyneth,I’d sing the colors of the rainbow to go along beside”Yellow”that I believe Chris wrote for her.I can’t remember a classier woman than that girl
Rachel on 20 Jan 2009 at 1:07 am #
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT? I see that if you were’nt married, but you really want to killed if flirt when your married and the person you are flirting with is MARRIED and don’t blame it on the chick just say sorry.
From a star relationship therpist.
drobbingdon on 20 Jan 2009 at 3:02 am #
You may be a “star relationship therpist (sic)”, Rachel, but your command of English leaves a great deal to be desired. Having read your post several times, I still have no idea what you mean.
noeliah on 23 Jan 2009 at 6:39 am #
this gossip crap is lame, i couldnt see chris martin being attracted to beyonce, i mean good lord her one thigh is bigger than chris martins head. she has the hams of a t-rex. gwens ok, if shes what makes chis martin happy then shes alright by me. and jay-z, “pop a cap in his milk-white ass” i doubt he’d say that to chris since there close friends.
jay z looks like a mr potatoe head.
y am i even on this site?
Chris Martin on 26 Jan 2009 at 5:59 am #
Hey everyone, I wish you would all just stop interpreting reality for me, because I pay Jonny good money for that, and he never lies like you lot.
As for the site being “over the top” and anyone who comes here “obsessed” with Coldplay, I beg to differ. I have been coming here since the church first opened it’s doors around before the Crusades Began, and no one has ever died from worshipping me, as far as I know.
But seriously, why concern yourself with such trivial things like penis size, the colour grey, and my love affair with that black woman, when you could be out there looking for a job?
Hey buddy, can you spare a job? It looks like they will have to “sub-out” the entire world economy now to American Express and the Chinese, since those idiots at the “Free Enterprise Corporation” really screwed up bad on some land deal or something, and now my bank card won’t work. What a joke eh?
Is SayCheese, Mr Potatoe Head? He could be, in an alternate universe inhabited by little green people who can only sing in b flat. Barring that possibility I gusee we just have to accept the fact that he does have talent, but you’d never know from his “music”.
Well I gotta go and save the world now, that’s why God made me so handsome and talented. You other less perfect beings, you could all learn a lot from me, if you’d only listen more attentively to the music. Always strive to be pure and noble like the Canadian Beaver, truly a universal symbol of trust, harmony and peace if there ever was one.
And so may I be in your hearts as you try to figure out what is going on out there, beyond the mist of time, all human understanding, and most “experts”.
Cheilon.... on 18 Feb 2009 at 3:20 am #
what do u have against beyonce,and you sound kind of assholish,NO OFFSENSE!
Nadia on 06 Mar 2009 at 1:21 am #
Ok sorry but that article is dumb and people who are believing any of it or that what that fake ass Chris said really should get a life
I’m Gwyneth by the way…..lol…………….
convert on 06 Mar 2009 at 9:43 pm #
I do believe that Gwen is cheating; but the fat man is really the inner Gwyneth. She has spent so much time on her site goop talking about herself that she manifested in reality as a fat balding man and still manages to love herself! Chris may have used his divine powers to create this image for gwen to see; so that she may learn to be humble, like he. This is a testament to Chris’s deep love for Gwen and his compassion for her self-absorbtion. With him, all things are possible, and Beyonce is way too hot for chris.
Mary Magdalined on 09 Mar 2009 at 11:34 pm #
Yes-I admit it. I am the bloodline heir to the thrown and Chris Martin & I would like to THROW down like “lovers in Japan” but he is just so darn upright and would not give into temptation. Yes, he may sing and moan about me “saying yes” but he is a man of the cloth disguised as a rock GOD-and I still worship him anyways, so all I can do is get frisky when I watch his videos and hope that someday he will have a lapse of faith that I can get all up on! Hallelujah!
Chrissie Martin on 09 Mar 2009 at 11:40 pm #
I am the twin sister of Chris Martin. i can tell you that he walked on water as a child, and was unnaturally talented at an early age. He was so well-versed in music and biblical analogies that the other kids used to laugh and tease him unmercifully. But Chris would just all tell them to go to hell. Then he would add, “but I really mean it!” Would he cheat on Gwen? Who nose? I think he is having an affair of the heart with a beautiful 6 ft. tall MUSE & may be copying some of her riffs but she LOVES him too much to sue! She claimed that Coldplay was supposed to win 5 Grammy’s this year, but the “ghost of Led Zepplin” stole 2 of them away! She is either crazy? Or crazy like a FOX?
granit on 18 Mar 2009 at 2:38 am #
ej chris martin you are very good I’m from albania
Angel on 18 Mar 2009 at 2:57 am #
Is it a sin,when you want to have sex with chris martin?and why did he choose this bitch gwyneth?
drobbingdon on 23 Mar 2009 at 12:26 am #
It is only natural, so how could it be a sin?
The only sins the Church of Chris Martin recognises are Rasism, Hatred, Hunger, Poverty, and Mediocrity. And also greed, like the bankers (see Money as Debt). And Bullying.
Angel on 23 Mar 2009 at 1:35 am #
Okay,drobbiboy.But it is not possible,because he is married.Isn’t this a sin?I thought he is godlike,so you can’t have sex with someone who is unnatural.Or can you have sex with god?
drobbingdon on 23 Mar 2009 at 11:38 pm #
Can you have sex with a God? Ask Gwyneth.
Can you have sex with someone unnatural? Ask Eva Braun.
Is it a sin to have sex with someone who’s married? Well, my wife certainly seems to think so…
Angel on 24 Mar 2009 at 12:56 am #
Ah, you are a bad boy, aren’t you drobbingdon?haha Well,they had sex, because they have two kids. Is it also a sin to think about chris is having sex with jonny?And then we have a threesome.I am a girl, but gay sex turns me on. I am ashamed. Because I don’t want to see Chris and the other guys as sex objects.
drobbingdon on 26 Mar 2009 at 12:13 am #
You should be ashamed. And not even because of the Gayness. But because Johnny is pig-ugly.
Angel on 26 Mar 2009 at 1:38 am #
Why should I be ashamed? I thought the CoCM has tolerance for gays. And maybe you think Jonny is pig ugly, but others don’t think so. And I don’t think Chris does. Is it better to think of a threesome with Gwyneth and Chris? Maybe that’s what you want. Girl Girl Action. I don’t get it!
????? on 05 Apr 2009 at 2:18 am #
? ??? ?????? ?? ????? ??????? ??????? ?? ????????? ?????? ???????, ?? ??????? ??? ????? ??????????, ?? ??? ? ????? ?? ????? ????????? ?? ????????
Lover in Japan on 06 Apr 2009 at 5:14 am #
All this hand-wringing over sex and Chris Martin. What about Beyonce…Chris would be not a real man if he didn’t get a little jolly from her. She may have large legs but that’s a genetic holdover from the slave days. It just means she can pick lots of cotton.
Chris Martin KNOWS enough not to EVER piss off Jay-Z. That JZ-er runs with a crew that does ALL his dirty work for him. Ask that other lily-white limey that mouthed off about Jay-Z at Glastonbury-what’s-his-name Noel Gallagher. That dude got tucked in good-ON STAGE!
I think CM merely appreciates Beyonce’s hard work ethic-again..a holdover from the slave days and whips. Maybe Chris would like to play a little plantation game with her? Oh! Who knows? I get the feeling that Gwyneth is beautiful and classy but might not be that hot-to-trot in the boudoir! CM needs a REAL WOMAN like me..in Japan…or anywhere else for that matter! Hallelujah Church of CM!
Angel on 07 Apr 2009 at 1:16 am #
@ LoverInJapan Stop posting that racist shit about Beyonce’s legs! I am white and I have fat legs, too. What a bunch of bullshit! Everyone’s thinking about having sex with chris, because it’s The Church of Chris Martin. I also could ask about having sex with Gwyneth or someone else. By the way, drobbindon you didn’t answer me!
Caitlin on 09 Apr 2009 at 3:20 pm #
I hate that Chris is cool with Beyonce! Why does she get to meet him? I can’t stand that overrated bitch. What a slut
strawberry Trojan Fields on 10 Apr 2009 at 6:37 am #
Oh! Angel-I’ve upset you. I am so sorry I offended you and your fat legs. Did you once pick cotton too? Maybe you also worked on a plantation with Beyonce? What’s so great about this very website is that is’s so refreshingly politically INCORRECT! And this is something I think the “quirky” Mr. Martin would appreciate, as well. After all-it is in his honor. People that gravitate to this website deserve to air their dirty laundry or let it all hang out. If this is too much a burden for you, Angel-then maybe find a nice safe website to discuss fat legs like maybe…”www.prison.lesbians.com?”
ge-nuh on 14 Apr 2009 at 10:22 am #
THIS WEBSITE IS SO CREEPY IT MAKES ME LAUGH SO HARD
IF IM HAVING A BAD DAY ILL GO ON YOUR SITE, TAKE ONE LOOK AT THE PHOTOSHOPPED PICTURE OF CHRIS MARTIN ON JESUS’S BODY AND FALL OUT OF MY CHAIR LAUGHING
SO THANKS FOR THAT
G, Paltrough on 14 Apr 2009 at 3:11 pm #
I am a classy lady! I do not entertain thoughts of others discussing what goes on in my bedroom. Please take your gutter thoughts and wash them in some clean water. It takes a lot for me to let my guard down in public. I am so very private, you know. I went to a fancy boarding school-and I have traveled through Spain with a famous chef and wrote a coffee-table book about that adventure. Need I sully my make-up with thoughts of a sex dalliance with my beloved husband? Let Beyonce have him when she wants some white chicken meat? You know-down at the plantation!
dany on 21 Jun 2009 at 7:31 pm #
well…i wuld seriously lyk it if Chris married Beyonce instead Gwyneth…vry cute pic together and im takn it to my file….
Beyonc-eh /Bootylicious on 01 Jul 2009 at 5:48 pm #
Oh please..all this whispering about Chris Martin and me? If I got my bootie all up on him, he would be the next heart attack to happen to a famous person!
Chris is a very nice and talented fellow but that white-bread skinny-minny Gwyneth is about all that boy can handle in the sack. and that ain’t sayin much.
So y’all can just stop guessing and confessing about us. If you were gonna be gossiping about anyone-I would like to cheer Usher up after that messy break-up with that hussy he knocked up. Or how about Kanye-another day…another model. I can teach both those playas a thing or two. Oh..wait..that’s right I’m married. And I’m Bootylicious! Put a BOOT on it!
Gwyneth GOOP on 22 Jul 2009 at 5:34 am #
Chris: it’s me-Gwyneth-your supposed “Wife!”
don’t know if I am really all cut-out for this ROCK STAR life?
Me and the angelic kids never can catch you at home-
because you are usually off somewhere in another time zone!
So many bosomy beauties would like to grab your crotch-
and I am sure get you drunk on your favorite Scotch!
No real woman can RESIST your boyish appeal, and so
many of them would bang you in a minute with fervent zeal!
Many call me scrawny, flat-chested and geeky-
but I just turn my head away-and call that criticism-”CHEEKY!” Yes I do GOOP and consider myself a privileged member of the glitterai-
I love fancy shoes, gourmet meals and Stella McCartney- my oh my!
Coldplay has gotten so BIG now-I cannot Hold you back! So Chris: I got the 2 kids I wanted — I’ll let you go jump in any old sack. Just use protection-so no more lawsuits will be engendered-
the last thing Coldplay needs right now is a paternity “fender-bender.”
love-gwyn-goop*
..a plaintive cry..to Chris... on 22 Jul 2009 at 1:53 pm #
..chris..I cry out to you..a plaintive song-
how much longer will it be…how long?
this endless touring has someday got to end-
then we can “strawberry swing”& be more than just “friends.”
I know you saw me swaying in the cali sun-
yeah-I got them Beyonce dance moves down-without her bootylicious BIG bum!
you are no more than a rock star workaholic drone-
let’s sing some coldplay songs together alone!
chris..please stop this moment and appreciate one special fan…and “smell the roses” as only you can.
Yeah-Glastonbury 2010 is way too far off for me-
…i cry out yet again to you..if only you would SEE!
….a plaintive fan xxxx
Austin Jay J. MASTE on 16 Nov 2009 at 5:50 am #
Dear Dear Martin
Greetings you in the precious name of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you always.
I was really blessed of your very nice website, and research your sermon outline. i have learned many things regarding the reality of the truth and right doctrine of Christ. That’s why I was very excited to communicate to your work, because you are in the right church. So please send me your email, so that i can send to all the PICTURES of my activities and my gospel meeting here in Mindanao, Philippines, and I am willing to study and learning of the bible teaching. Specially for the pictures of our water baptism results during my ministering here in the Philippines
My Name is Austin Jay J. Maste, married to Digna J. Maste, my wife and I, we are 48 years old, and I have two children, they are all boys. Names Austin Jay. And Ashley Keith.
I am the preacher, in Polomolok Church of Christ, and with the 25 families. Located in 626 Sampaguita St. Polomolok, 9504 South Cotabato. Philippines. So i hope that you can help to send of your very biblical teaching because we have more than 178 congregations here in South Cotabato, and Davao City area. Link, That’s why I am very willing to study to your web sit. So please write me back and contact me so that I can send you my weekly reports for my works here in the Philippines.
May God bless you always.
In Christian Love
Austin Jay J. Maste
626 Sampaguita St. Polomolok,
9504 South Cotabato
Philippines.
Phone # 083-380-1017
Mobile # 09202879157
hé hé on 25 Jan 2010 at 12:14 pm #
mwahahahaha! who’s that very “christian” and not “martinian” jay j? this site is only for those who believe chris martin is the holy sent messenger of God and only one way to Him. No Jesus Christ believed here! There is one God and Chris Martin is His Messiah to us! comprendes?