Courtney Love on Chris Martin & Gwyneth Paltrow
As reported elsewhere, Courtney Love’s Myspace blog recently featured an account of a visit to the London home of Chris ‘n’ Gwyny. Most blogs have edited her rant to make her seem more ridiculous than she really is. But not the CoCM!
What follows is the full text of her post:
“So whoever it was that like HACKED into my Google account (mrskurtcobain@gmail.com) and SENT STUFF to like everybody in my address book… FUCK YOU!!!1! I do NOT think Billy Corgan is a retard!! I did NOT accidentelly snort cornflour!! I DID SO really play guitar on Holes albums! Believe me I actually PAY SOMEONE in Pakistan or some shit to CHECK MY MAILS BEFORE I SEND THEM!! Seriously, I am a PARENT now!! Ive had to like buy three new computers for my house to prevent my DAUGHTER from reading what actually happened and suffering ABUSE fromthese fuckers!!
So Yeah Here’s a story that your all gonna love! I went over to see my BESTEST EVER FRIEND GP and her husband Chris Martin out of BEST-SELLING GROUP Coldplay yesterday. OMG she is a super goddess!!!! I was like panicking and FREAKING OUT that i wouldn’t be good enough for there perfect house and there perfect children and there perfect life. I was in London for the night and nothing else to do but still its nerve racking to go to a geniouses house!!! So I tuurn up with my bottle of so so wine and this dress that like looks like a thrift-store bargin but is by Chanel so FUCK YOU BITCHES!!!! Anyway I wore it with some old shelltoes but so what? I’m a parent now. So Gwyneth opens the door and shes like “Its so nice to see you” and Im like oh God she is JUST SO FREAKIN COMPASSIONATE!!
So Im like thinking, what if Chris asks me to play him at chess? What if GP tries to convert me to Kaballah? What if the macrobiotic food SUCKS?! What if fuckin DAVE BOWIE turns up and Im sitting there with my shelltoes and Louis Vitton and Rimmel panda eyes on there perfect fucking sofa? WTF?! Then GP farted and Chris makes this freakin hilarious joke and i wasLITERALLY cracking up! What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangeroo? A WOOLY FREAKIN JUMPER!
OMG I LOVE THESE GUYS SO MUCH!!!!! She is so sexy and thin but she’s also smart - smarter even than me. I don’t wanna tell you my IQ cos I hate people who boast about stuff like that and I mean who cares anyway right, but it starts with onehundred and fifty!!!
So we meet the kids and there like grabbing at me and I have to tell them that the dress is Chanel and can they back off? So we go inside and GP says that Chris has been looking through his records and has one that I SHOULD TOTALLY COVER. And you know what he was right. Hes a FREAKIN GENIOUS.”
For anyone interested, click below to hear the song Chris selected:
July 20 2008 10:53 pm | news
