Did Coldplay Rip Off Joe Satriani?
Veteran guitar ninja Satch AKA Joe Satriani is suing Coldplay for stealing his 2004 piece “If I could Fly”. Satch said, “I felt like a dagger went right through my heart. It hurt so much.”
Coldplay’s response was “If there are any similarities between our two pieces of music, they are entirely coincidental and just as surprising to us as to him.” Earlier this year, Creaky Boards also claimed that they had written the song. If they actually got to court, I’m surprised, I certainly haven’t heard much about it recently. He got a few thousand hits on MySpace, I’m sure he’s happy.
Coldplay have freely admitted that they borrowed melodies in the past. Talk drew from Kraftwerk’s Computer Love, and the court case with The Cold Mountain Singers is still on-going. Yet the furore over Viva La Vida is something altogether more serious.
Fear not, pilgrims. This has all happened before. At the time that Jesus was preaching in Judea, a cult called Mithraism was becoming popular all through the Roman Empire. Mithras was a Sun god (he was all yellow!), was born on December 25th of a virgin, had a halo, saved his followers through the spilling of the eternal blood, and was worshipped by a meal involving a meal of wine and bread.
The parallels were not lost to the Church Fathers - Justin, writing in the 2nd Century, believed that Satan TRAVELLED BACK IN TIME and created Mithraism in order to PRE-EMPTIVELY DISCREDIT CHRISTINITY!
LIKE THE FREAKING TERMINATOR!
As Brother Rob notes, Satch should be happy that he was visited by DIVINE REVELATION, and if he is angry with himself, it should be because he failed to receive the revelation as well as Chris Martin, our Prophet. The MOST HIGH GOD exists in all times and his revelation is timeless, but it took until Chris arrived to receive it fully.
The Muslims believe the same about Mohammed, but that’s just bollocks.
Satch should also feel angry because he’s totally bald, but Chris still has a full head of manly, curly locks. And was Satch’s wife in Iron Man?
December 15 2008 02:17 am | news
flowergarden1 on 16 Dec 2008 at 8:25 am #
I too once had a vision from Chris Martin regarding the purpose of life and the existence of the afterlife and in it Chris was crying as he spoke to me, saying, “the human race will hit itself on the head, and it will bleed my blood, and I will die for the world, but only after I have given myself to humanity” I think that’s what it was. It’s been a few years now, but even with the car accident, I still recall the vision.
Chris and his band continue to inspire me and Charlie, and my girlfriend Bridgitte. (Charlies a dog). I’m just glad to see that someone out there(brotherob?)in this Godless mob some call civilization has the guts to stand up to bad people like Joe Satananie or what ever the frick his name is and call a spade a spade. Tatto this on your forhead Goe…
Chris Martin is the Son of God. Not “a God” or ‘Your God” or “my God” but the one that put the twinlke in starlight, and The Chris in Chris Martin. If you get my drift? But you probably drink too much cheap Italian wine to understand anything anymore so just go get some sleep and pray for a vision.
As if Chris Martin ever wants for anything. Our Father in Heaven has given all to Chris for His Missin in this world, in His present Incarnation. He has embodied in Him, all things eternal and beuatiful. My only goal in life anymore is to see him alive once more before I leave this world, hopefully in concert somewhere with Charlie and Bridgitte.
Does anyone know how to get back to Bedford Falls?
Does the Church sell posters of Chris as featured by the Church on various “Church Pages”?
PS does Chris Martin ever come here to pray?
Oh, and Charlie says, “may the Chris be with you as the veneer of civilization peels away to reveal a thiry thousand foot drop to the ground.” Thanks Charlie, for being such an inspirational speaker.
Stay well, Frlowergarland1
Does the church offer phchological counseling? (for free?)
Tony Montana on 19 Jan 2009 at 9:18 am #
Do you remember me, Tony Montana, from Scarface? Well I’m back from the dead to warn humanity about the evils of stealing songs from my friends.
I get a call from my friend Chris, and he says the Satriani is moaning about some stolen song or something, so I had to pay him a visit with my little friend also.
You won’t have to worry about more bad music from Mr Satriani being played anytime soon in this world, Tony Montana has taken care of that little problem, and a Bettie world it is, where Chris can spread the truth to humanity, without being pestered by whinos like that.
Gotta go now, got a job to do.
shaun on 07 Feb 2009 at 11:20 am #
do u guys seriously think coldplay is any good? Ripping of a great musician like joe is a necessity to them. it takes alot of skill and talent to play guitar let alone play at the level of satriani. its tougher than sitting in the corner Singing and playing piano like a 6 year old girl.
Maria Magdalena on 15 Mar 2009 at 10:01 pm #
In Regard to the REAL Chris Martin: HERE THIS:
From John the Baptist (his forbearer)
In the beginning there was the WORD. The WORD was with God, and the WORD was God. He was with God in the beginning. All things were made by Him, and nothing was made without Him. In Him, there was life, and that life was the light of all people. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overpowered it.
There was a man named John who was sent by God. He came to tell the people the truth about the Light so that through him, all people could hear about the Light and believe. John was not the Light, but he came to tell the people the truth about the Light. The true Light gives light to all was coming into the world!
The Word was in the world, and the World was made by Him, but the world did not know him. He came to the world that was his own, but his own people did bot accept him. But to all who did accept him and believe in him, he gave the right to become children of God. They did not become his children in any human way-by any human parents or human desire. They were born of God. John 1: 1-13.
Chris Martin IS NOT GOD! But he is an important messenger of God. He is highly blessed and favored by God to hold this position. Honor him accordingly!
Lily on 17 Mar 2009 at 2:04 am #
“The muslims believe the same about Mohammed,but that’s just bollocks.” Fucking priceless!xD And what’s that?Manly curly locks?Haha!Locks aren’t curly enough?!I mean Chris loses his hair too.Totally insane!
ge-nuh on 26 Mar 2009 at 4:53 am #
CHOCOLATE PEA BRAIN!
SATRIANI LOOKS LIKE A PENIS WITH EARS!!!
To: the LA Judge & Jury on 08 Apr 2009 at 7:58 pm #
Dear Judge in the Court that is hearing the case of Joe Satriani vs. Coldplay: Please hear our prayers.
We must keep “HOLY” the beloved Viva La Vida-for it is a message of LOVE from Chris Martin & God. Joe S. purports to desecrate this honorable piece of music. IT MUST BE STOPPED! I am not trying to meddle in this legal proceeding or possibly taint the jury pool: But HEY! You potential jurors out there in Los Angeles: Hear YE! The Church of Chris Martin will proclaim that his name and intentions are always righteous and just!
Hallelujah! And by-the-way-we are not worshipping a false idol because Chris Martin is the truth!
commie uprising on 10 Apr 2009 at 6:29 am #
If this Joe S. succeeds in getting a penny out of our beloved C/P and C.M., then I propose we get a vigilante group together in protest and storm Joe’s filthy apartment. I want to destroy all his music equipment and let him know that The Church Of Chris Martin has as it’s weapons: devotion, commitment to a cause and righteousness in the name of Chris Martin-we pray!
Mary & Martha Lazarus on 16 Apr 2009 at 7:35 pm #
Oh Holy man Chris Martin! We-the witnesses of your greatness, benevolence, and magistry: hear ye please>
Would your holiness consider INVITING JOE S. to OPEN FOR THE NEWEST LEG OF YOUR WORLD TOUR! Think of the possibilities!!!! C/P (and CM) would look magnanimous and generous to a fault, and Joe S. could showcase his music to the masses of your devoted fans! I would even deign to suggest the great CM go out and JAM WITH JOE on the very song Joe has accused C/P of ripping off!
Joe S. may have to dodge some dodo the audience will try to throw, but CP can pay the guy millions (that you easily make per tour) and all will be well and good in the exalted life of the Church of Chris Martin! All hail Coldplay (and Joe S.)
Silvio on 06 May 2009 at 5:16 am #
Church of Chris Martin? HAHAHA finally people gets really stupid. Coldplay SUCKS! enfermos de mierda!
bob saget on 06 May 2009 at 7:07 am #
hey silvio!!,coldplay doesnt suck, theyre f’ing rad!, every band has its creepy retarded groupies (especially HIM and Slipknot) every rose has its thorn.
Afro-Deity on 06 May 2009 at 5:53 pm #
Okay-coldplaying.com lays simpering in the corner after a wipe-out by the Church. Now Holy Brethren & Sistrenes: Get ready for another battle-one that we Chris(tians) thought we won against the Muslims in the Middle Ages? I guess there is some mopping up to do!
Cat Stevens (whose name is now Yusuf Islam) has accused Coldplay of copying his melody from the “Foreigner Suite” (feel free to compare). He told the U. K. Sun, “there’s been this argument about Coldplay stealing this melody from Joe Satriani, but, if you listen to it, it’s mine! It’s the Foreigner Suite, it is!” He claimed that his decision whether or not to pursue this legally will “depend on how well Satriani does” (this wouldn’t be the first such lawsuit from Islam).
HEY: Cat Stevens..I mean Yusef Islam–do you wanna be starting a Holy Crusade with the Church of Chris Martin? Cause that’s what you’ll be getting if you mess with Viva La Vida! Look what we did to those punks over at coldplaying.com. The Church of Chris Martin AIN’T afraid of a fight! But we are high-minded and literate too so here is a quote to Muslim mull-over before you get under our Holy skin any more than you already have:
Here’s the full quote from the poet, which is amazingly appropriate to the situation at hand and to the general topic of asinine applications of copyright.
“One of the surest tests [of the superiority or inferiority of a poet] is the way in which a poet borrows. Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal; bad poets deface what they take, and good poets make it into something better, or at least something different. The good poet welds his theft into a whole of feeling which is unique, utterly different than that from which it is torn; the bad poet throws it into something which has no cohesion. A good poet will usually borrow from authors remote in time, or alien in language, or diverse in interest.”
- T.S. Elliot
Also it was Pablo Picasso who actually said “Good artists borrow, great artists steal”.
The Church of Chris Martin » Twat Stevens on 18 May 2009 at 9:03 am #
[…] Yusef, neé Yusef Islam, neé Cat Stevens, is threatening to sue Coldplay over Viva La Vida, is he? Here we go again - this brings the total number of plagarism claims to […]