Forum Classics #1: Your Distressing Site
Back in the day, the Forum for the Faithful was where THE CONVERTED communicated with THE CHURCH. Problem was, it was a bit detatched from the rest of the site, and the software was outdated and ugly. So, when the Church of Chris Martin became a blog, the Forum was shut down.
But some of the threads were too good to lose forever. So, in the first of an ongoing series, we present Forum Classics #1.
All of the posts are complete and unedited and genuine. Heirophant is me, everyone else is who they claim to be, as far as I know.
So, without further ado, this one, dating from 2005 -
Mouse
Oct 5, 05 - 1:16 AM your distressing site
this is the most ridiculous site I have ever had the misfortune of coming across. It is an insult to Coldplay and the other good bands you are openly slandering. You clearly have a mindset about what makes good music, and had you taken the time to listen to some of these bands (aka oasis) you may be more tolerant.
Heirophant
Oct 6th, 2005 - 1:11
Firstly, “a.k.a” means “also known as”, and is generally used to signify an alias. So, if you are actually saying that all “other good bands” are Oasis under an alias, then I think I am safe in saying that you are incorrect.
(Although you could be right about McFly, as they also want to be the Beatles, DESPERATELY. I haven’t heard them actually steal one of their songs or titles though, so I guess that they’re not Oasis.)
Secondly, we have slandered no-one. If we choose to believe Chris Martin is the Messiah, it is a matter of personal faith! Can you prove that he is NOT the Messiah? If you can, there’s a fortune to be made - prove that Mohammed was not the prophet and make a mint off the born-again Christians!
PS - as “the most ridiculous site” that you’ve “ever had the misfortune of coming across”, thanks for reading the whole thing and even contributing to the forum! Cheers!
Heirophant
Oct 6th, 2005 - 1:13 AM
PPS - In case I sounded sarcastic, I actually really like Oasis and respect their work -
- IN A NUN’S TWAT!!!!!
Yellowfan
Oct 24th, 2005 - 3:23 AM
I have never heard this Oasis band yet, but I am hoping that i get to soon, because i would like to be more tolerant. Tolerants is good.
If only the Islams could be more tolerant we might not have so many wars.
- Without further ado, more forum comments:
B. - Take a dig at all you don’t understand
Jun 12, 05 - 6:01 PM
Nice Coldplay ********* site…
I’m not a ‘****in’ student’ as the wise and powerful Liam Gallagher so profoundly put it. In fact, I’m from a not so different part of Manny as Liam himself. I’ve met and brawled with lots of mindless ******* like him. I’ve even twated a few of them, with much pleasure, I must admit. All they do is walk around happy being nothing, talking ****e all day long to carbon copies of themselves and trying hard to impress their little twelve year old ‘wannabe-thems’ that hang on their every ‘****’ and ‘bollocks’.
Yep, I’m from there. The same background as Liam. He’s an immature little git. The sad thing is, he doesn’t know it. And probably never will. His brain’s been scorched by coke and speed. His sad attempt to emmulate John Lennon can only be laughed at.
To take the **** out of someone like Chris Martin in this day and age can only be down to the work of some mindless ****** like Liam with somekind of computer knowledge that where only God himself knows came from.
The world is in a sorry state, wake up and smell the gunsmoke boys, the world needs noble people like Chris Martin, and less tossers with no worldly experience or suffering to make pathetic and time wasting websites.
Thank you.
B.
Heirophant
Jun 14th, 2005 - 1:15 PM
I totally agree!!!!1!!!
These mindless ******s who feel the need to slag off Chris Martin - like CHRISMARTINISSATAN.ORG and the alt.evilcoldplay newsgroup - really DONT’ understand!
They just dont’ see it - if they could see it then they’d understand (LOL!) Liam Gallagher is an idiot and a BLASPHEMER.
The world needed someone like Chris to show us where we have gone astray, someone gentle, thoughtfull and nobel.
noel
Jun 22nd, 2005 - 3:30 PM
bollocks to the lot of ya. its fkn amazin. yer a fair collection of un informed twats with no basis for any of yer insignificant opinions but what the media feeds u. twats the lot of ya.
yellowfan
Jun 14th, 2005 - 1:17 PM
Don’t forget gorgeous!!!!!!!!11!!!!
liam
Jun 15th, 2005 - 1:38 PM
twats!
True Coldplay fans, each and every one. Doesn’t it make you happy that the world is filled with people like this?
July 11 2008 12:41 am | Church History
Nettie on 17 Jul 2008 at 10:11 pm #
HAHAH! These are truly classic quotes. Um, where are those anti-Coldplay sites now? Dust in the wind…
drobbingdon on 18 Jul 2008 at 10:29 pm #
Exactly! Where are the Gnostics now? Where are the Bogomils now? Heretics every one, and only “the truth” survives!
Nettie on 07 Aug 2008 at 10:40 pm #
Amen brutha! And the truth sets us free!
Chris be with you!
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