LOLChris

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December 08 2008 12:00 pm | Adverts and Did you know!?

19 Responses to “LOLChris”

  1. Nur al-uvbomolez on 19 Dec 2008 at 12:45 pm #

    listen yh!! my best mate is a HUGE coldplay fan…but she even thinks this is taking it to the extreme. You fuckin suck cock right! get off my dick maynn!, mingeater, muff diver, dyke! suck my dick hoe! shut the fuck up!
    OH I LOVE COLDPLAY! now suck my fadge!
    xxoxoxshagmydeskxoxoxox

  2. Emily on 19 Dec 2008 at 12:52 pm #

    Hi, I am the best friend of Nur. I love COLDPLAY SOOOOO MUCH. They are the best band on the planet EVER!! lol. I really hope this site is just a joke taken abit to far though. Chris Martin is beaut and seems like a really nice person (aswell as Guy Berryman,Will Champion and Johnny Buckland). This even isn’t a joke is abit weird, I thought i was strange for liking them loads but saying Chris Martin is the prophet c’mon? I’ts really weird and strange! xox

  3. larry long balls on 10 Jan 2009 at 1:21 pm #

    roflmfao!!!!!! FYI ur gayzzz!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOZORD SUCK my lol vadge lip!!!! OMFG BRB. FANKu ur R8 clver n rly sexi lol! dese ppl ur 2 gay 2 luv cris immho! ur kool LOLOLLOLOLO XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  4. drobbingdon on 11 Jan 2009 at 2:00 am #

    Too true, Larry. Too true…

  5. Chris Martin on 17 Jan 2009 at 7:15 am #

    The one thing I really do not know and want to is: how do I get out of this place?

    I do not for the life of me, remember where the exit is. I guess it’s the Church version of “hotel room spatial inversion” which simply put, is an altered state of consciousness, where the observer(you), is for hours (if you are lucky) completely disoriented and confused upon waking up in an endless number of different hotels rooms day after day, all of which are infinitely different yet somehow always the same?

    There is no light over London today because they turned off the power in Las Vegas and everyone died and went to hell because they were bad humans.

    At least that’s how I see it. And I understand all things temporal, as from Spirit doth flow all reality and… well for example, all the dead people living in my head, how do you explain that?

    Thanks for liking our music and comming to the shows, we really need the money.

  6. Cheilon on 19 Jan 2009 at 7:35 am #

    So are you going to heaven Mr.Martin,and usually the exits our out of the windows.LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL.
    :) I have the dream of meeting ever.

  7. Cheilon on 13 Feb 2009 at 6:34 pm #

    do you like black people? :0

  8. Cheilon on 13 Feb 2009 at 6:42 pm #

    cause if u dont you’ll lose this fan

  9. Cheilon on 13 Feb 2009 at 6:50 pm #

    yeah women do want for sex ,it is true, accept me. :)

  10. Cheilon on 13 Feb 2009 at 6:51 pm #

    I have to tell you something , I’m your cousin.

  11. Cheilon on 13 Feb 2009 at 8:25 pm #

    im singing speed of sound instrumental on youtube, next is talk which I can sing in my sleep

  12. Cheilon on 13 Feb 2009 at 8:27 pm #

    brb

  13. Cheilon on 13 Feb 2009 at 8:36 pm #

    back

  14. Amy b on 16 Feb 2009 at 12:21 am #

    what is all the comments about, get a grip, if you think the websites too far then dont come on it. but im so glad i’ve found it cause i think that Chris Martin is the closest thing we have to God. so does my brother who has liked them since he was about 10 and he’s 19 now.

    we LOVE you chris. and cant get enough of you. Keep writing. :D

    xxxxxxxxxxxx

  15. ge-nuh on 26 Mar 2009 at 5:55 am #

    IM FILLIN MY CUM WITH PENISITY!

  16. Chris Martin on 20 Oct 2009 at 3:32 am #

    Thank you all for supporting our band. Now I’m going to go beat up some paparazzi, yell at my wife, name my child Bannana, steal another band’s song and OH YEA… eat a free trade veggie burger.
    Again, thanks for all the support.

  17. The Real Chris Martin on 21 Oct 2009 at 5:14 am #

    So I must assume that the Chris Martin above is the real Chris Martin from Coldplay with a child named Bannana? Why would Chris Martin name his child after a fruit alone when he could simply name it after U2 band leader Bono (and a fruit) and get… Bono, Bannana, Bonnana?

    This way you can genuinely honour your child by naming him/her/it after the creative genius Bono yet still pay homage and respect to your many friends in the fruit and vegetable kingdoms. (which by the way young children should eat lots of everyday)

    We all wish you the best of luck on your next musical endevear, whatever that might be, because we know that someone with your abilities and such a GRAND band of fine musicians behind you (without whose part there would never have been what is)) will no doubt suprise us all with another masterpiece I am sure.

    Again, thanks for all your support and donations. I’m now living at the Home for Aged Great Artists Who Blew Their Billions and Can’t Get Off the Floor. Keep the checks coming, I love you all.

    May the Chris be with you as the wind blows you down and the shovels they bury you in the cold ground

  18. terlefunken on 21 Oct 2009 at 2:36 pm #

    Y’all guys seam bit crazy in here, you worship that boy from coldplay, are you all sane? now who is the real Chris and who’s not? this is all hoax i can see, i almost throw all my cold play music but now i can heta that group because of this junk site

  19. The Great One's Mouthpiece of Piety on 21 Oct 2009 at 4:17 pm #

    The Mouthpiece SPEAKS:

    No terlefunken: it is you who’s crazy & that is because you insist upon leaving garble like the above on these Holiest of pages. The Church is no hoax; if you throw your Coldplay music away-then that is your loss. You seem to need to take more English as a 2nd Language classes or just quit huffin crack so that your few good brain cells can recover to their original diminished capacity!

    Many Church members are bona fide Christians and understand the theories of “false prophecy.” We do not dishonor GOD by our devotion to Chris Martin.
    GOD had many apostles, saints, and prophets during both the Old & New Testament Days-now there is not so many HOLY PEOPLE among us. When one is found-that is something to celebrate.

    Chris Martin and Coldplay’s music holds the promise of great spiritual revelations to come; just as their past work is full of wonderful questions and answers, and yes-prophecy. Chris Martin is NOT God; He is NOT Jesus; He may be an angel; Yes-he is a prophet. There is nothing anti-Christ about that!
    CHRIS MARTIN IS A MUSICAL CHRIS-TIAN!

    Terlefunken-go funken yourself back to your mother’s
    dank basement. Do like the Glastonbury Pilgrims 3 do-pull out the C:O:C: girl calender & have a work-out! You are hereby banned from this Blessed website. I will pray tell Father Drobbingdon to issue you the writ of idiocy and send you back to the other nitwits that lurk about @coldplaying.com.
    Amen.

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