The Church of Chris Martin vs. coldplaying.com
Coldplaying.com (which is like a low-rent version of the Church of Chris Martin where the people DON’T EVEN REALISE THEY’RE BELIEVERS) have had an interesting thread in the discussion forum at the moment, where they make some VERY inflamitory statements. They have all sorts of misconceptions about what we do, and what’s more, their misconceptions are wrong.
I want to refute some of these hurtful statements, quoted below -
- When I first found it I thought it was all one big joke - It is not. Chris Martin is ACTUALLY the new Messiah, it’s a scientific FACT. There is nothing funny about that!
- I guess it’s flattering, but you knoooow Chris would not like it. - He would so.
- Some of those statements are absolute bull-shit, Chris being contacted by the C.I.A. to fly - It’s a matter of public record, actually. I’d post the documents but I’ve been told not to by my contact in the intelligence services.
- **agrees with the creep factor**
although i often remark to my family that”Chris Martin IS God’ when they go on about my obsession with CP - You see, these people have been deifying Chris Martin for years, we just take it more literally, that’s all. At least we’re aware of what we’re doing - these guys seem blissfully ignorant. - I don’t know if Chris wants a devoted following. Well, besides us. - See what I mean?
- Next they’ll be wanting to sacrifice people. - Will not. We want to “Fix them”.
It is not the policy of the Church of Chris Martin to be a part of any petty arguments - however, in this case, we will make an exception, and DECLARE HOLY WAR on Coldplaying.com. They are heritics, unbelievers, blasphemers and a bunch of real shits too.
It is now the SACRED DUTY of all true Martinites to uphold this CRUSADE and boycott Coldplaying.com, and say rude things about them whenever possible. Chris be with you.
July 03 2008 01:07 pm | news and site news
Nettie on 04 Jul 2008 at 12:28 am #
That was LMFAO funny. You rock!
Ricardo on 04 Jul 2008 at 5:34 am #
hahahahahahahahaha
Mophet on 04 Jul 2008 at 8:23 am #
Hilarious
EnglishSilk on 04 Jul 2008 at 8:30 am #
How could you dare call me”blissfully ignorant?”
It was Chris Martin himself who said “Coldplay fans are the most intelligent people in the world…..”
Go serve THAT at your CHRISmas mass, you ass!
EnglishSilk on 05 Jul 2008 at 12:44 am #
Chris Martin:”Coldplay is for people with great taste, intelligence, incredible good lookingness, talent, ability, success, grabbing of life. Coldplay’s for people who know what life’s about. They’re always entertaining. Delightful to talk to. Sweet, charming, incredibly good in bed. Virile. They have incredible success with girls, or boys, or both. They’re generally just the world’s best citizens. Maybe I’m biased, but I’m definitely right.”