and you guys have failed to enter the site undercover. you guys fail at freaking life.

I believe Chris Martin is An ArchAngel from Beyond The Seventh Harmonic, here to save humanity from ourselves…..

I recently had the great cosmic good fortune to find myself only mildly stoned and or drunk at not one but two shows of the most FANTASTIC SPECATACLE KNOWN AS COLDPLAY here in drug wars Vancouver.

It was so cool. I especially loved tripping over all the homeless people on the way to the stadium. All told, in effect, I walked by (and helped) say 120 people (many accepted Visa).

But I just wanted to assure you that Chris Martin and the Band are all Divine but human at the same time. Apparently the rest of us are also, and it is His only desire that we live in peace amongst ourselves on this world called Paradise. And try to be great Artistes like Chris and his Band Pals. Be Happy or Die.

Easier said than done, yes, but with good hearts like Coldplay leading the way you cannot go wrong.

For me they are just people who went the limit, like Lennon, Elvis, Santa or who ever. And maybe sometimes people who share a craft recognise in one or a group (many) the same power inside us all, and some are able to share that feling with others, like Chris Martin and Coldplay.

While I personally believe that Chris Martin is the livng incarnation of the ArchAngel from Beyond the Seventh Harmonic, I can eaily accept the viewpoint of others who do not share my vision.

Let us unite then in Holy Cosmic Stadium Unification, and prey that the blind and venal who rule the world now will soon see the error of their ways, renounce profittering and somehow salvage their vain and useless lives (in service to others).

But what I really wanted to say was, the two shows in Vancouver were right off this planet and I am just getting into Prospekts March, what a WORK OF ART. Like Nature, Coldplay is… Perfect Art.

This is sad and if the real churches (real believers in JESUS CHRIST) don’t have a revival….it’s going to be sad. God shall punish the different churches as it says so in the book of Revelation.

People wake up! There will be many false prophets during the end times and we are in the birth pains as I type.

I miss my Master-Michael so much! He used to give me a BIG BANANA every day for lunch. We were the best of pals…and had so much fun with the kids at the Never-land Ranch. Oh..the good ole days.

My hunch is that something is amiss with his passing!
I think Michael got whacked by coldplaying.com. His computer was on that day and maybe those muffin-heads traced him! That band of nose-pickers are bent on world destruction & thought they could make a Glastonbury “statement” that would rival The Church of Chris Martin’s dominance at the Yellow
Tent Event.

So my heart is broken, I need a Big Banana from (what used to be) a Black man whom I was very fond of-in human and animal terms. Please Church of Chris Martin-demand a 3rd autopsy on Michael and see if he was looking at the computer before he died? Maybe he was idiotic enough to get on coldplaying.com and they sent a computer death-ray to him–giving him that cardiac arrest.

Coldplaying.com will live on in infamy as a murderer,
a pretender to the throne of greatness that The Church of Chris Martin inhabits in the realm of band websites. They should hang their dog-heads in shame at making those 3 little children father-less. I hope coldplaying.com burns in the fathomless Hades that awaits them. Michael was a “Smooth Criminal,” coldplaying.com are JUST CRIMINALS-plain & simple!
Please don’t let Mother Katherine send me to the zoo!

I am a nurse in the infirmary here at the mental ward.

I have just read that there has been a swine flu outbreak at Glastonbury and that 3 or more people may be ill. I have it on good authority that it was coldplaying.com that released this virus at the event.

I am currently aware of a patient who, though having delusions and a high fever, claims that a secretive group found out he was infected, had him stop at the Yellow Tent Event to oogle the C O C girls performance, buy some useless knick-knacks, shake the lovely hand of the True Widow, and cough all over everybody there.

Apparently coldplaying.com is furious over the Church of Chris Martin’s web success, the popularity and sex appeal of the C O C girls, and now I am told: the Glastonbury Pilgrim Erection Memorial has got the evil group in a tizzy.

The re=enactment of the pilgrimage today set them off the deep end, because they know that the sacred ground that the trek trod on will soon have that erect phallic stone monument on it’s Holy grounds.

Nothing coldplaying.com has even done is worth a erection, much less a monument. This is driving the wizards of mayhem crazy with jealousy. I advise the Yellow Tent Event group to be very cautious tomorrow with their health and who they allow to touch them.

Particularly the performing ladies should take care to stay covered up to ward off any chills. I understand their performances sometimes require the shedding of clothing in an “artistic manner.”

I am not divulging anything of a confidential nature, since the coldplaying.com member who is ill is now confined to lockdown and has been shouting this information all over the hospital. Your Chris Church should be proud that you have been telling the world all along that coldplaying.com is a scourge and now a bio-hazard to cool concert patrons as well.
I pray to Blessed Mother Theresa that the contagion of coldplaying.com is held in abeyance and that no more young people fall victim to this dreaded disease so viciously introduced in yet another misguided effort at total world websiting domination. God Bless God! Amen.

I-the Sanctimonious Pope of this great Church doth issue today a Papal Bull excommunicating and condemning coldplaying.com and I pronounce this bastion of blasphemers: “enemies of the world.”
Brothers & Sisters: coldplaying.com’s evil thoughts rest on heresy, manipulation, and provocation. I do not speak today of nebulous currents of thought or vague traditions. On the contrary, coldplaying.com is a highly organized group of individuals-a sect, an order, a secret society-who through the ages have dedicated themselves to nothing less than world and website domination.

Their keen desire to dedicate themselves to subverting the edifice of The Church of Chris Martin will be their final downfall. With the Papal Bull I do now have supreme authority to vet this group and bring them before the Vatican Council for a vigorous confrontation of facts. The Pontifical Commission was established to increase the centralization of ecclesiastical power-and the recently re-institutionalized doctrine of papal infallibility.

The combative yet secretive coldplaying.com has brought the world to the brink of nuclear annihilation and despair. This pope will respond with vigor and wrath and coldplaying.com is hereby excommunicated and it’s members and website stricken from the records. We will recommend to the band-in a written communication-that they limit their exposure to this perversion of nature: coldplaying.com, but of couse, it will be only a recommendation of sorts.

In conjunction with my Holy Assistant-Kurt Cobain out of Nirvana, we bid the Church a fond farewell. Continue to pray for the welfare of all Church members and We look forward very much to the upcoming Glastonbury Yellow Tent Event. Pray for the dead souls of all those at coldplaying.com. Amen.

coldplaying.com may feel they are above the fray, but I have some news for them–they are right there in it! I have pursued some research and information that has come to light regarding coldplaying.com using Satanic Cult practices to hex Chris Martin and Coldplay. Numerous coldplaying.com members gathered recently under a full moon and did a “mystification procedure” whereby they are willing to sacrifice the well-being of Chris Martin and Coldplay for the objective of total websitting domination.

This calculated ploy’s main objective remains unclear but perhaps they were hoping that the news of the curse would be thought to be a hoax, but they would manipulate that fact and use it to terrorize the musical community. coldplaying.com might have thought this to be a joke-at first-but there is no question that many are now taking the Coldplay concert setbacks and ill health of Beloved Martin to be in inauspicious sentiment gone haywire.

Whatever the motivations behind this inopportune display of mendacity, the fact remains that coldplaying.com is not intellectually sophisticated enough to pull a fast one on the world, let alone the brillant minds that dally amoungst the Church of Chris Martin. Here at the Church, I must humbly state that we are capable of displays of ingenuity, suspense, brilliance, verbal intricacies, historical knowledges, and architechtronic complexity worthy of say-Albert Einstein. In other words, coldplaying.com-you got to be getting up VERY EARLY in the morning to pull a fast one on the Church of Chris Martin.

How you can deftly strike at Coldplay without regard to the ultimate conclusion that a Satanic curse would unveil itself as misery for the bandmembers is beyond all civilized thought and moral behavior.
You have shown the world and everyone who loves music what not to be and act like and you have brought shame and dishonor to your members and ill-advised ring-leaders.

Coldplaying.com has created a toxic psychological climate just as the beloved band is set to take off on a 40-city tour this summer, and begin work on the next Coldplay opus-which will only continue to contribute to the magic and divine guidance we-here at the Church are Oh! so familiar with. Perhaps coldplaying.com wishes to stop the lyrical unveiling that is culminating in the process of the unveiling of the female Messiah persona-a maternal deity surely able to help the world with climate change, 2012 end-of-the-world scenarios and anniliation fears brought on by that crazy North Korean Kim Jong!

Yes-I have had an epiphany! Coldplaying.com is trying to stop Coldplay and Chris Martin from announcing the 2nd coming of the female Messiah. They sought to shut down The Church of Chris Martin because they saw that Arch Pope Drobbingdon was coming to Holy conclusions, as such, and they were not to be outdone in the “astonishing disclosures” department! Coldplaying.com had better take their Ouija Boards and Santaria candles and hit the road! The Church (and Grand Master Drobbingdon) is on to you and we will gather up our righteous membership, find out you secret hiding place, and lay waste to your pathetic personages! You have been fore-warned-coldplaying.com. WE MEAN BUSINESS! No one curse Coldplay or Chris Martin without a fight from us! All Hail the Right to Bear Witness to coldplaying.com B.S.!

It does not matter what Chris thinks! The CoCM does not exist to try and impress or please Chris Martin - that is the job of Coldplaying.com! We exist to point out what is a truth apparent to us and to Chris Himself - that he is the chosen mouthpiece of the Most High God. It is true whatever we might think about it, and in Chris’s lyrics, it is clear that he understands that even as he resists, he understands the truth:

“Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will.” (Mark 16:33-13)

“All these signs, I knew what they meant,
Some things you can’t invent,
Some get made, and some get sent.
Wah hoo!” (Speed of Sound)

Moreover, unseasonably cold weather at Coldplay’s outdoor shows is forcing fans to stay away. Chris and band mates Guy Berryman, Will Champion and Jonny Buckland have released a statement apologizing for postponing their tour.

“We’re sorry to report that Coldplay have been forced to postpone due to illness,” the band posted on their official website. “They have asked us to apologies for the inconvenience but we are currently in the process of re-arranging the show for another date,” they added.”

This is off the website of a famous Rock Station here in Los Angeles…they claim a curse has been put upon Coldplay by unknown sources. I SAY THAT coldplaying.com IS BEHIND THIS ! They will stop AT NOTHING to seize power and control from The Church of Chris Martin–EVEN if it means that harm and ill fortune may befall the very ROCK BAND they “CLAIM” to adore! These abominations of mankind–coldplaying.com–MUST BE STOPPED! Church members UNITE! Gather up your blowdarts and water balloons-WE WILL LAY WASTE TO THOSE coldplaying.com SCUMLORDS & BLOOD-SUCKERS! All hail A Holy WAR!