CHRIS MARTIN flying SOLO… from Gwyneth too?
The Church of Chris Martin is truly prophetic! We could sense that something was amiss in the life of Chris Martin!
All the other Coldplayers were home with their wives and kids, enjoying some downtime after the BIG TOUR concluded!
But where was Chris Martin? NOT HOME WITH GWEN & the angelic children!
He was apparently out traipsing around at various charity events, state receptions, fund-raising balls, and (as is being bandied about on the interpipes) playing kissy face with actress Kate Bosworth at a U2 concert in Las Vegas! Our Chris - our MARRIED Chris, our otherwise on the straight-and-narrow Chris, our bloody Messiah Chris - slobbering over another skinny minnie flat-boobed blonde! It’s deja vu all over again!
What is so upsetting to the Church of Chris Martin regarding this story is that whether true or not, it casts our Great One in a not-so-holy light! It’s one thing to cat around on your wife on tour - that’s almost a given in a rock star life - but to do it so openly and brazenly is just unconscionable!
What was Chris thinking? Was he so overcome with liquor that his good judgment and discretion evaded him?
Is the accursed coldplaying.com messing his head up now that the “concept album” is coming to life, so that the Female Messiah announcement is denied, delayed or denounced? Something evil indeed is toying with the Great One!
Church of Chris Martin - take to your Holy Shrines and seek succor from the Saints that we pay homage to for the spiritual tools needed to make Chris strong! He must now fight temptation and the bewitching allure of another Hollywood hoochie and home-wrecker!
As much as certain eager and willing Church members and frisky C:O:C: girls would love to get into the Great One’s (ahem) “inner circle”, this is something that needs to be considered AFTER THE CONCEPT ALBUM’S COMPLETION! So I must be the High-Church Elder who, at the behest of Father Drobbingdon, reluctantly seeks to CONDEMN the despoilment of Chris’s good name in this sordid Las Vegas chapter of events. I ask Chris Martin to keep these lustful succubii at a distance, and hope that Mother Gwyneth finds it in her illustrious heart to forgive him his Sin City solicitations.
Church of Chris Martin: REMAIN STRONG & RESOLUTE! We have suffered greater miseries than this and if anything good results from Chris Martin’s assumed shenanigans, it is this - HE IS NO LESS OR NO MORE THAN A MORTAL MAN - with frailties, short-comings, and desires no different from any other human being! Let us draw inspiration that a mere mortal can be such an inspiration and prophesy like the epistles of the apostles!
I know in my heart that Father Drobbingdon is overcome with a sense of foreboding, as he himself has also tinkered with the affections of women other than his wife! This particular scarlet infidel was a louse sent over to entice by coldplaying.com. Let us hope that actress Kate Boswell is not of the same inclination - that is, a harlot working undercover for the wanking Twitterers, aka coldplaying.com!
The Holy War is never-ending, but we have Chris Love to suture our souls! Remain as steel in this fight for website dominance! Amen and Bless all brethren & sistren in infinity! Viva!
The comments here shall form a “marital infidelity lyrics study group”, to search for any hintings at this turn of events in Coldplay songs. CoCM group-mind Go! (Like Voltron.)
November 09 2009 07:29 pm | news
"Marital Indiscretion" Lyrical Study Commentator on 09 Nov 2009 at 9:53 pm #
I Shall Be the First to comment as I have had experience with this particular matter:
“YES” by Coldplay
“When it started we were alright,
but night makes a fool of us in daylight.
There we were dying of frustration,
saying, “Lord lead me not into temptation.”
But it’s not easy when she turns you on…
since they’ve gone.
If you’d only, if you’d only say yes.
Whether you will is anybody’s guess.
God only, God knows I’m trying my best,
but I’m just so tired of this loneliness.”
It is by mutual agreement that the “Marital Infidelity Lyrical Study Group” concludes that the lyrics of “YES” are an indication that Chris Martin was at the crossroads of cheating on Gwyneth.
He was fighting-”the temptation,” but was so “tired of the loneliness,” that he was hopeful that someone would say: “YES.” To Chris Martin’s credit, he realized what he was doing was breaking a vow (marital) that He made before God with Gwyneth, so He struggled with the moral ramifications. If the reports out of Las Vegas are correct, it looks like Chris Martin suscumbed to the enticements of adultry.
Let us Pray on his Behalf for Delieverance!
Amen.
Poppy Fields on 10 Nov 2009 at 7:14 pm #
COLDPLAY - PROSPEKT’S MARCH / POPPYFIELDS LYRICS “Drums Here it comes
Don’t you wish that life could be as simple
As fish swimming round in a barrel?
When you’ve got the gun
Oh and I run
Here it comes
We’re just two little figures in a soup bowl
Trying to get behind a kind of control
But I wasn’t one
Now here I lie
On my own in a separate sky
And here I lie
On my own in a separate sky
I don’t wanna die
On my own here tonight
But here I lie
On my own in a separate sky…”
A acknowledgment of alone-ness here;
“gun” referral may be phallic?
“fish swimming round in the barrel” is life in the public eye-
“Don’t you wish life could be simple”-means things have gotten too complex; yearning for simpler times.
Chris(tian) is confessing he feels alone, is conflicted about his sexual needs; he hates to be hassled by the paparazzi; and has a yen for a time less stressful & busy. (I believe he is being honest with himself about his personal unhappiness-this may be where he gets off track and starts to wish for something else: i.e. “PROSPEKT” (prospective) “MARCH” (go forward.) Chris(tian) is issuing a musical command to himself to seek alternative realities! (Lyrical Study Group conclusion-we are open to other interpretations)
BrotherRob on 15 Nov 2009 at 4:20 am #
BrotherRob is most secretly thrilled with his minor beatification within the Church and will try his utmost to ensure the rapid world conversion to Chrislamacism (no matter the cost in blood, bones and misery). I shall also endeavor to never embareass the Church publicly nor privately, so help me God.
Just because I’m losing,
Doesn’t mean I’m lost,
Doesn’t mean I will stop
Doesn’t mean I won’t cross
Just because I’m hurting,
Doesn’t mean I’m hurt,
Doesn’t mean I didn’t get what I deserved,
No better and no worse
I just got lost
Every river that I tried to cross,
Every door I ever tried was locked
Oh and I’m just waiting for the shine to wear off…
I’ve sent the above lyrics to the Central Tehran Institute for Correctness in Islam and Daily Life, asking one of my close contacts there for a more detailed and culturally non-biased assessment of the above. Let us wait.
And be it not my place to pontificate, prognosticate or otherwise defecate liturgically on the Honor, Grace, or Good Looks of our Beloved by way of interpretive musing, but I shall try, I guess.
Just because I’m losing…
The first verse is clearly the admission to self of uncontrollable wanderlust. He can and may yet still commit / be fated to Gwyneth Goop, just because he is now losing the battle of higher-lower self does not mean he will always be a loser(choices). And then he goes on to say that even if his higher self wins and he stays with Gwyneth Goop that he won’t give up his Sunday tennis with George Michael in the park. So much is clear.
What transgression has occurred here in verse two which produces such a tsunami of remorse and self un-likening one can only wonder, but I hope you got her phone number.
I’ve tried that “I just got lost line” when found out by another woman and it works well if delivered with a very contrite ending.
This matter must be made of utmost importnace to the Church’s Supreme Groovers in Heaven and the worldy hand of guidance extended to Chris Martin before he succumbs to his Inner Orwellian Child and makes a mess of everything.
And if anyone is interested in some pretty cool gear they may want to check out Damage Control and a unit in particular called “The Womanizer”.
I guess we should not be using that particular word around here at this very sensitive time in the relationship of / between Chris Martin, his many children, their mothers, pets too numerous to list… and Gwyneth.
Barely have I comitted to not put the church in such a tenuous position socially, professionally or otherwise and I have stumbled.
Verily it is true, for we are nothing more nor less than children forever trying to find our place on the stage of life occasionally wondering who or what could ever produce such a show, and have the most perfect plan… to include you in it.
Amen and Hallelujah.
Mrs. Chris Martin the 2nd on 30 Nov 2009 at 1:02 am #
A P L E A T O C H R I S M A R T I N :
give up the stick chicks;
forget those pancake breasts.
dontcha know that watermelon that jiggle-
are really the very best?
why you always going for the anorexics that don’t eat meals?
yeah-they look good in designer clothes-
but they ain’t all that, for reals!
please, if you be cheating on Gwyn-
will you give the curvy ladies a shot?
Meditate on that Chris-
maybe even smoke some pot!
how about a bootylicious sista?
or a spicy Latina Miss?
now those are the kinds of “indiscretions,”
that are worth a slobbery Las Vegas kiss!
Just like the Beasties announce: “I like girls that bounce with the weight that pays about a pound per ounce”
what you say playa?
expand your girlie horizon-
you just might find that you dig the busty lasses-
now that ain’t so surprisin?
Anon y mouse on 13 Dec 2009 at 6:19 am #
What sayest thou about thee neighboring place of worship, Coldplaying.com? Are thy not aware of the vast, varied, and often thankful audience of parishioners at our most humble and gracious abode? Make peace with your brother before you go to the temple to worship! Love thy enemy as thy friend, and be one with the spirit.