give up the stick chicks;
forget those pancake breasts.
dontcha know that watermelon that jiggle-
are really the very best?

why you always going for the anorexics that don’t eat meals?
yeah-they look good in designer clothes-
but they ain’t all that, for reals!

please, if you be cheating on Gwyn-
will you give the curvy ladies a shot?
Meditate on that Chris-
maybe even smoke some pot!

how about a bootylicious sista?
or a spicy Latina Miss?
now those are the kinds of “indiscretions,”
that are worth a slobbery Las Vegas kiss!

Just like the Beasties announce: “I like girls that bounce with the weight that pays about a pound per ounce”

what you say playa?
expand your girlie horizon-
you just might find that you dig the busty lasses-
now that ain’t so surprisin?

Just because I’m losing,
Doesn’t mean I’m lost,
Doesn’t mean I will stop
Doesn’t mean I won’t cross

Just because I’m hurting,
Doesn’t mean I’m hurt,
Doesn’t mean I didn’t get what I deserved,
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I tried to cross,
Every door I ever tried was locked
Oh and I’m just waiting for the shine to wear off…

I’ve sent the above lyrics to the Central Tehran Institute for Correctness in Islam and Daily Life, asking one of my close contacts there for a more detailed and culturally non-biased assessment of the above. Let us wait.

And be it not my place to pontificate, prognosticate or otherwise defecate liturgically on the Honor, Grace, or Good Looks of our Beloved by way of interpretive musing, but I shall try, I guess.

Just because I’m losing…
The first verse is clearly the admission to self of uncontrollable wanderlust. He can and may yet still commit / be fated to Gwyneth Goop, just because he is now losing the battle of higher-lower self does not mean he will always be a loser(choices). And then he goes on to say that even if his higher self wins and he stays with Gwyneth Goop that he won’t give up his Sunday tennis with George Michael in the park. So much is clear.

What transgression has occurred here in verse two which produces such a tsunami of remorse and self un-likening one can only wonder, but I hope you got her phone number.

I’ve tried that “I just got lost line” when found out by another woman and it works well if delivered with a very contrite ending.

This matter must be made of utmost importnace to the Church’s Supreme Groovers in Heaven and the worldy hand of guidance extended to Chris Martin before he succumbs to his Inner Orwellian Child and makes a mess of everything.

And if anyone is interested in some pretty cool gear they may want to check out Damage Control and a unit in particular called “The Womanizer”.

I guess we should not be using that particular word around here at this very sensitive time in the relationship of / between Chris Martin, his many children, their mothers, pets too numerous to list… and Gwyneth.

Barely have I comitted to not put the church in such a tenuous position socially, professionally or otherwise and I have stumbled.

Verily it is true, for we are nothing more nor less than children forever trying to find our place on the stage of life occasionally wondering who or what could ever produce such a show, and have the most perfect plan… to include you in it.

Amen and Hallelujah.

A acknowledgment of alone-ness here;
“gun” referral may be phallic?
“fish swimming round in the barrel” is life in the public eye-
“Don’t you wish life could be simple”-means things have gotten too complex; yearning for simpler times.

Chris(tian) is confessing he feels alone, is conflicted about his sexual needs; he hates to be hassled by the paparazzi; and has a yen for a time less stressful & busy. (I believe he is being honest with himself about his personal unhappiness-this may be where he gets off track and starts to wish for something else: i.e. “PROSPEKT” (prospective) “MARCH” (go forward.) Chris(tian) is issuing a musical command to himself to seek alternative realities! (Lyrical Study Group conclusion-we are open to other interpretations)

“YES” by Coldplay

“When it started we were alright,
but night makes a fool of us in daylight.

There we were dying of frustration,
saying, “Lord lead me not into temptation.”
But it’s not easy when she turns you on…
since they’ve gone.

If you’d only, if you’d only say yes.
Whether you will is anybody’s guess.
God only, God knows I’m trying my best,
but I’m just so tired of this loneliness.”

It is by mutual agreement that the “Marital Infidelity Lyrical Study Group” concludes that the lyrics of “YES” are an indication that Chris Martin was at the crossroads of cheating on Gwyneth.

He was fighting-”the temptation,” but was so “tired of the loneliness,” that he was hopeful that someone would say: “YES.” To Chris Martin’s credit, he realized what he was doing was breaking a vow (marital) that He made before God with Gwyneth, so He struggled with the moral ramifications. If the reports out of Las Vegas are correct, it looks like Chris Martin suscumbed to the enticements of adultry.
Let us Pray on his Behalf for Delieverance!
Amen.