Review: Coldplay at the Cricket Wireless Ampitheatre, California, July 16, 2009
How awesome can awesome be? You know how it is on the perfect date, when you meet someone and you JUST CLICK and feel totally comfortable with that person? Or you make some spaghetti sauce and it comes out the perfect consistency - not too watery & not too thick and goopy? Some mornings you might get up and feel in your heart & soul that all is well with the world - you see the birds chirping and the coffeepot is on… and you just had the greatest sex in the world ! Well, that’s how it was to go to a Coldplay concert here in California this past week - LIKE A HOT DATE, PERFECT PASTA SAUCE, & GREAT EARLY MORNING SEX, all wrapped up into one!
The 19,000 seat amphitheater was SOLD OUT! Traffic alerts were sent to prevent automotive quagmires! The night was warm & tropical - balmy baby-making weather! All different types of fans-both young and old were in the house. Lots of different nationalities-people from all over the world, but especially from right over the near-by border-Tijuana.
It was truly the World Music Gathering ! Soon the opening band, Kitty Daisy & Lewis, came on playing some funky hillbilly music, then a wonderful West African band by the name of Amadou & Mariam-which featured bongo drums and all kinds of percussion plus 2 female dancers that were doing the wild and crazy watusi!
Soon enough Coldplay started to set-up and a palpable (good) tension dosed the air with intrigue and the upcoming promise of Chris Martin et al. Yellow Stars were up in the sky, twinkling brightly… Kurt Cobain - are you up there anywhere? Can you see & hear this? Soon enough a black mesh curtain drops down… flashlights on the stage show the Brit boys to their proper places…. oh! The anticipation is building to a musical orgasm that is FINALLY ready to climax… they are here, IN PERSON!
They launch into the strains of “Life in Technicolor” and we are off to the races. Next is “Violet Hill”… I was too much in rapture to keep a full setlist but I know they played just about, if not all of the”Viva la Vida” album, plus older hits such as “Fix You,” “Yellow,” “Clocks,” “In My Place,” and a very good rendition - in honor of fallen Saint-to-be Michael Jackson - “Billie Jean.”
Chris was VERY POLITE to the crowd and kept thanking us for coming out. He is such the very nice fellow and kept saying “This is a good show,” which I take to mean the band felt the crowd energy was receptive and welcoming plus we were singing along, clapping, dancing and just eating up the band! Then towards the end the whole bunch of them take off running to a small stage set up in the hinterlands of the upper reaches in the cheap seat area! Here they come - I am ready and strain to reach Will (who right up close is heavier-set than I imagined). Chris is right there - sweating profusely - and I gaze into his heavenly face, which up close is surprising lined and wrinkled! He seemed too intent on racing up to that platform, so I shouted “Viva Church of Chris Martin,” and tried my mightiest to mind-channel him with this admonition: “CHRIS MARTIN - YOU MUST PROCLAIM THE FEMALE MESSIAH ON YOUR NEXT CONCEPT ALBUM!” But it was diffcult to concentrate since he went by so fast and I was striving to ooze sex appeal in my low-cut, seafoam green maxi-dress so that Chris might consider me as a bosomy groupie to dally with after the show.
They ended the show with the crowd going crazy and they took their final bows but came back out almost immediately to finish off with the encore, “The Scientist.” Then as my friend and I beat a hasty retreat to escape the traffic nightmare, you could hear the Great One speaking–rather sermonizing to the crowd about African Music, Oxfam, perhaps-even meat-free Mondays. A greater time I have to think hard about having at any other recent show (Incubus excepted) so I must say to all Church members: Coldplay & Chris are every bit as WONDERFUL, PERSONABLE, TALENTED, NICE, & PERFECT as you would be led to believe!!
(I was told by my daughter - who parked her Lexus in the VIP lot - that as she was leaving, she saw the band run out from the venue and pile into 2 black-tinted window vans and haul off away from the show-still in their “stage outfits,” which means they were at a hotel somewhere close-by! But they had 2 police escorts so following them was probably out-of-the-question.)
They spare no expense on putting together a first-class show with perfect visuals: MTV-type video screens that show all the stage action, excellent sound mix, fancy details like red and green strobe lights, Yellow balloons, rotating globes on stage, and - of course - the wonderful blasting of the multi-colored butterflies when “Lovers In Japan” is played. In fact, I positioned myself directly behind the machine that spits those babies out and they fell all over me, strobe lit - what a Coldplay turn-on!
Do what myself and (TRCM) Brother Rob out of Vancouver, Canada do - stretch your over-worked credit card to the limits of a bankruptcy filing and get to as many of these Coldplay shows as possible. Chris warned us at the end that they won’t be back for several years! Maybe he is to accompany Father Drobbingdon into the bunker to save himself from the impending chaos and be around to lead what’s left of the world to the 2nd coming of the Female Messiah he is almost ready to proclaim?
All Hail the Greatest: Chris Martin. To reside in the same space and time and air with him, even for 2 hours at a packed concert venue is to partake of the most magnamonious and creative love-mind of our time and age. I feel blessed, cleansed, and perhaps a little bit better person overall for that time I spent at the Coldplay concert. God Bless Coldplay and Chris Martin in infinitum! VIVA COLDPLAY!
July 23 2009 09:17 pm | news and reviews
Scarlett the Harlot- C O C update on 25 Jul 2009 at 6:02 pm #
Hello and Holy Greetings to the Holy members of this Great Church of Chris: C O C Update!
…what an inspiration this review is to all fans and Church members to make the trek..take that pilgrimage..sojourn the path to enlightenment that Coldplay music and concerts offer the uninitiated. The only problems that might remain are: The concerts are all sold-out the world over and maybe they are not near your physical dwelling? Well-hop a plane, hitchhike, or do like the C O C girls do-get your pimp to drive you in the Caddy!
The C O C nymphets are very concerned about the health and mental well-being of our Great Church Leader & Founder: Arch Pope Drobbingdon-wasting away in his bunker & counting the days down until the Black Hole Sun event! Therefore, we took a vote (at least we tried because many of the girls are math-challenged,) & came to the Holy conclusion that a visit to cheer up Heil Pope was in order.
Again, we beseeched our Pimp Daddy to drive the caddy to the secret bunker and did a dance to cheer up the Arch Pope. We brought him goody bags of candy, C O C dollar bills to stuff the dancers with and a book of C O C poems that are clearly pornographic. A slight smile crossed his face but then he dug back into his can of baked beans.
So the C O C girls vowed to inspire a dance so vividly artistic and “outre” that the Pope MUST take notice and “snap out of it.” That is where we are at right now…the C O C girls are doing “an artist’s retreat” @ a customer’s..I mean Coldplay fan’s mansion in the mists of the Scottish fields of gold. There-we will take our beauty treatments and “create” a dance to honor the Great Pope.
Please pray for Daddy Drobbingdon that he will realize that the End-of-Time will NOT come, as long as Great Souls of Righteousness Inhabit the Earth-God will NOT STRIKE them dead! And that would of course be-the One and Only Hallowed One: Chris Martin!
All Hail Divine Glory & Creative Freedom to make artistic statements that really are just sex dances!
Amen.
The Real Chris Martin on 26 Jul 2009 at 6:38 am #
It’s true we really are the most amazing band that has ever incarnated in this world, from beyond the Seventh Harmonic / Veil Of Time that is.
We have come to save mankind from himself and for good sex. But you have to wonder sometimes, just what are the chances we (you humans) did get it all wrong… and the end is near and we are all doomed?
Is the world getting colder or warmer? Google that? Are the worlds oceans clogging up with dead zones and countless billions of jellyfish and why? Will Bernie Madoff ever learn to cry? Or is he just another un-recyclable financial psychopath?
Personally I find the world far to frightening to deal with in any capacity whatsoever which is why I prefer to travel around in an unmarked coffin.
Anyway I heard some really strange music the other day at http://www.myspace.com/robdriscoll. Apparently I / we the band influenced him substantially and we wish you well in your emotional breakdown Rob. Remember, practice your scales and you’ll end up like us…
Handsome, fabulously wealthy, rich beyond your wildest dreams, forever young, very beautiful in a manly way, superb artists and really good normal people with big hearts.
I am Forever Yours / From Beyond the Ninth Unison / And Beyond the Center of Time / We Speak to You From Within You We Speak / Can You Hear Me Now / Can we Find A Way / The Real Chris Martin
Luthor9 on 04 Dec 2009 at 2:42 am #
Yes, young Chris Martin shows aptitude in the field of musical composition and may one day earn a living at it. And he certainly is a most magnamonius gentleman indeed.