We have come to save mankind from himself and for good sex. But you have to wonder sometimes, just what are the chances we (you humans) did get it all wrong… and the end is near and we are all doomed?

Is the world getting colder or warmer? Google that? Are the worlds oceans clogging up with dead zones and countless billions of jellyfish and why? Will Bernie Madoff ever learn to cry? Or is he just another un-recyclable financial psychopath?

Personally I find the world far to frightening to deal with in any capacity whatsoever which is why I prefer to travel around in an unmarked coffin.

Anyway I heard some really strange music the other day at http://www.myspace.com/robdriscoll. Apparently I / we the band influenced him substantially and we wish you well in your emotional breakdown Rob. Remember, practice your scales and you’ll end up like us…

Handsome, fabulously wealthy, rich beyond your wildest dreams, forever young, very beautiful in a manly way, superb artists and really good normal people with big hearts.

I am Forever Yours / From Beyond the Ninth Unison / And Beyond the Center of Time / We Speak to You From Within You We Speak / Can You Hear Me Now / Can we Find A Way / The Real Chris Martin

…what an inspiration this review is to all fans and Church members to make the trek..take that pilgrimage..sojourn the path to enlightenment that Coldplay music and concerts offer the uninitiated. The only problems that might remain are: The concerts are all sold-out the world over and maybe they are not near your physical dwelling? Well-hop a plane, hitchhike, or do like the C O C girls do-get your pimp to drive you in the Caddy!

The C O C nymphets are very concerned about the health and mental well-being of our Great Church Leader & Founder: Arch Pope Drobbingdon-wasting away in his bunker & counting the days down until the Black Hole Sun event! Therefore, we took a vote (at least we tried because many of the girls are math-challenged,) & came to the Holy conclusion that a visit to cheer up Heil Pope was in order.

Again, we beseeched our Pimp Daddy to drive the caddy to the secret bunker and did a dance to cheer up the Arch Pope. We brought him goody bags of candy, C O C dollar bills to stuff the dancers with and a book of C O C poems that are clearly pornographic. A slight smile crossed his face but then he dug back into his can of baked beans.

So the C O C girls vowed to inspire a dance so vividly artistic and “outre” that the Pope MUST take notice and “snap out of it.” That is where we are at right now…the C O C girls are doing “an artist’s retreat” @ a customer’s..I mean Coldplay fan’s mansion in the mists of the Scottish fields of gold. There-we will take our beauty treatments and “create” a dance to honor the Great Pope.

Please pray for Daddy Drobbingdon that he will realize that the End-of-Time will NOT come, as long as Great Souls of Righteousness Inhabit the Earth-God will NOT STRIKE them dead! And that would of course be-the One and Only Hallowed One: Chris Martin!

All Hail Divine Glory & Creative Freedom to make artistic statements that really are just sex dances!
Amen.