Your topic Guantánamo Bay: the inside story was interesting when I found it on Friday searching for private yoga…

We-the 3 Pilgrims of Glastonbury bid you adieu and hello. We are honored that you continue to pray for us and our erections to honor the great musicologist-Chris Martin.

Though we suffered immensely in our trek through mud, badly-teethed Brit girls and English food not fit for consumption, we managed to get out alive but would like some erections in our memory.

Therefore, we would like to propose a “3 Holy Pilgrims” charity calender of us..the Holy 3-some posed in various stages of undress..soliciting for our erection kitty whereby the world will know of our brave quest to find Coldplay Nirvana!

All hail the Saints, Prophets, Nursemaids and such of the Greatest of Holy Churches and the erector of the Shrine to Us: the 3 wandering seekers of yore.

Today is the day that the world Greets the newest opus from director Ron Howard-”Angels and Demons” movie.

Lest any disaffected member (Church members) try and provoke the same sort of turmoil visited in this great story-hear my words!

I just recently visited a mosque on the 2nd day of my closely watched first visit to the Holy Land. I hope all who have an ear for peace heard me denounce the “ideological manipulation of religion,” and I also called for a greater understanding between the Church and coldplaying.com.

“Because of the burden of our shared history so often marked by misunderstandings and one upmanships, we should both strive to be seen as faithful and devout worshippers of the Great Man.”

This “ideological manipulation of religions-sometimes for political ends-is often the catalyst for tension & division, and at times even violence in society.”

I offer these “respectful reflections” from the “Holy Chapel of Dead Rock Stars”-whereby enlightened souls who accompany me (including Holy Kurt Cobain)
help my Papal efforts to “refacilitate the use of the traditional Tridentine Mass or Latin Mass-which has been optional since the reforms of the 2nd Vatican Conference headed by Bryan Jones-he-late of the Great Rolling Stones.”

The latest rite added to this most Holy Mass will include an intersession of prayer devoted to a calling for the conversion of coldplaying.com members into faithful Church of Chris Martin followers. Please direct all prayers to myself and other Holy Dead Chapelers to the Noble Sanctuary of Deceased Rock Souls. Rex Mundi Chris Martin! Go see Angels & Demons!

Asked to explain their lackadsical attitude toward the growing health crisis and mounting death toll, Official Mexican Government spokesperson Hector Kimono has stated unequivically that: if the public feels they have to bribe officails way too much just for the daily necessities of corn and beer then they are free to vote with their feet and move to that icon of insecurity and idiocy just north of the Rio Grande, the USA.

And besides (Mr Kimono went on to say) way more people are killed every day in Mexico by the drug wars than are killed by some sily litte swine flu / bird / human / mutant virus looking for a host body to exterminate. So what’s the big deal? As he inhaled a burrito and beer.

Earth right now for me is like Potterville gone over the cliff sanity wise in that movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life”. It’s like a bad dream getting worse, only it’s really happening, but it might be a dream, only it’s a reality dream.

Like, if we were all alive in a dream, and the dream was alive also, then it might look like what we have maybe. Right?

But I digress, that’s what these little critters are designed to do what we can’t do efficiently enough against ourselves, they are built to kill, maybe me, maybe you. Maybe oui, maybe non?

And now the entire equation of esistence is changed, do I RISK TOURING and contracting the Armagedon flu, or should I hole up in my virus proof bunker, fifty stories below what was once the world trade center and compose my famous “Lost Symphony” (for Korg and guitars) which after my untimely death in 2016 (by natural casues), was never found and today is appentley still lost to humanity, save for the 3 sample cd I made upon completetion of that now forgettable work.

I believe I gave the rest to Jonny, Guy and Roy the drummer, but they all died in the plane crash with me so I guess there is no Lost Symphony to recover.

I only feebly attept to humour you to save you from the truth of my most latest and scary divine vision which was visited upon me by the Grand Mufti Chipmunk His Furry self who has said from his furry head, ” Beware, Gozar the Horrible will rise from Plantention and the Grand UnderLord of Hell will raise All Demons from Arcania and all sub-variet regions of ectoplasmic spititium, to amass a vast legion of darkness which wil engulf the consciousness of mankind and reign hell on earth forever.

MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOU ALL.

And may you always carry a song in your heart.

as Always, The Real chris Martin, I Guess

Therefore I will put in my two sense. I do not suffer from total ego aggrandizement like my dear friend-BONO. I believe he caught that disease from Angelina while fighting AIDS in Africa. I keep my megalomania in check with regular surf sessions. It was while I was out surfing in California that a Red Hot Chili Peppers dolphin appeared to me “Behind the Sun.” It said to me: Kurt Cobain may have tormented you while he was alive-calling you a “pawn of the record industry and sell-out” but now he wishes to send his greetings from the GREAT BEYOND & ask if you will co-nominate him as the next GREAT SAINT in the The Church Of Chris Martin?

So–me-Eddie Veddered: hereby second the nomination to a vote of Sainted Kurt Cobain to the holy hierarchy of The Church of Chris Martin. It is the grunge element that must be honored musically here in order to spiritually ascend this congregation to it’s next metaphysical and existential level. Rex Mundi Chris Martin!

Maybe I will take my boys into the “mysterious room” where there are more secret Band Rules and the “truth” about the TRUE meaning of CLOCKS! When the fun starts with the Frog bashing-we’ll all come out! Opps! I don’t mean that to sound like C/P “was coming out of their secret closet!” Oh No! Women the world over would keel over in despair if that should ever leak out.

No-just a quick stiff pint (OF LAGER-PLEASE!) is about all the testo handleable although if it will help me grow some hair back on my head (on top) then I may ruminate on it while taking a minute’s silence for that German enchantress-the Queen! Thank you for the honor of being the FIRST COMMENT!