Twat Stevens
So Yusef, neé Yusef Islam, neé Cat Stevens, is threatening to sue Coldplay over Viva La Vida, is he? Here we go again - this brings the total number of plagarism claims to three.
There are a huge number of jokes I could make about this - Cat Theivens, Poosef, he’d sue if he wasn’t such a pussy, etc - but I won’t. It’s beneath me.
I’m Being Followed By A Goon Shadow. That’s a good one.
I won’t even point out that he helped popularise the Ovation, a notoriously thin-sounding guitar which has a curved back that makes it slide off your leg.
Islam claims that the track is ripped off of his 1973 flop album Foriegner. It wasn’t, but the number of searches for “Cat Stevens” on Wikipedia leapt from 3000 per day on the first of May to 21,ooo (seven times higher) by the 15th. I know I’d never heard of it before. Conveniently, the allegation was made the same week his new album Roadsinger was released.
Even more spinelessly, he said that whether he sued or not would “depend on how well Satriani does”. But I suppose the real question is, if he’s so convinced, why isn’t he suing Joe Satriani?
May 18 2009 09:00 am | news
.... on 31 May 2009 at 2:36 am #
WHOEVER WROTE THIS IS A WANKER!
Curses Aplenty on 21 Jun 2009 at 2:55 am #
..just as I was thinking about the Hallowed Saints of The Church of Chris Martin…I became aware of the yin and yang of the whole matter…that just as there are blessed, sacred friends such as Saint Bono and that fetching Saint Mark King…there are evil, dangerous, and satanistic forces at work in the world..soiling our Holy paths to enlightenment…
…these dark forces of the underworld ply their despicable trades of wrath worldwide and since the beginning of time immortal..they are known as the Devils…Joe Satriani, Cat (Twat) Stevens, Kim Jong of North Korea, and lastly, the most dastardly of them all…”coldplaying.com.” The Noble True Widow would consider Brandon “multi-wived” Flowers out of The Killers as a devil for his blast at the Grunge-ers and Kurt Cobain.
Arch Pope Drobbingdon: we call upon you-hidden in your bunker and awaiting the world’s end, to please put together something creative on the website featuring these mighty minions of Lucifer. The Church can go on-and-on about all the wonderful-ness of Chris Martin and his Holy Saints; but there exists evil & darkness in the world that we can’t bury our heads in the sand about.
I suggest a Devil Dartboard be put up in the Yellow Glastonbury tent prominently featuring the visages of the underworld monkeys previously mentioned, whereby for a few Euros, tent guests can throw darts at these hooligans of Hell. This money of course-would go to the coffers of Daddy Drobbingdon to help with Church “outreach” efforts. Far be it for me to tell the Great Corpulent One: Drobbingdon how to run his Church of Chris, but since he is in hiding down at the bunker, these suggestions are offered in the spirit of benign helpfulness. Chris is Great! Drobbingdon Rules the Roost! C O C Girls are nasty! Long Live the Church in ad infinitum!
Lyrics...revisited-"PIECE TRAIN." on 21 Jun 2009 at 7:06 pm #
…secret email sent by Twat to Joe Satriani….obtained by “Lyrics…revisited.” “PIECE TRAIN:”
“..Now I’ve been happy lately, thinking about the good things to come. And I believe it could be something good has begun.
..Oh, I’ve been smiling lately..dreaming about the world and a million-one…and I believe it could be..someday it’s going to come.
..Cause out on the edge of darkness, there rides A Viva Piece Train..Oh.. Piece Train..take this empty wallet and come take me to the bank again!
…Now I’ve been smiling lately, thinking about the good things to come..and I believe it could be..some good has begun..
..Oh Piece Train..sounding like VIVA..louder..
glide on the Piece Train..come on now Piece Train..Yes..Piece Train Holly Roller..Everyone-Joe, jump on the Piece Train..come on now..Piece Train!”
hotmamajama242 on 09 Jul 2009 at 4:07 pm #
ALL HAIL CHRIS MARTOON. DAT ISLAMIC MUTHER IS GONNA REGRET EVER BLAIMIN GOD OF PLAGERISM
Karl Fletcher on 16 Jul 2009 at 4:08 am #
This article is not funny and the author is, indeed, a wanker.
RT on 23 Oct 2009 at 2:12 pm #
Same on you for disgracing such a decent man.
Shame on you
RT on 23 Oct 2009 at 2:13 pm #
Karl, thank you for saying what we all wanted to say!
The author is indeed an asshole, bastard wanker!
Ted on 27 Oct 2009 at 5:27 pm #
I agree with RT and Karl. Author your an idiot.
Ted on 27 Oct 2009 at 5:32 pm #
Also how irrelevant is the fact that he uses one type of guitar over another? i would really like to know why you put that in there.
drobbingdon on 27 Oct 2009 at 11:28 pm #
Ted, if you’re gonna call someone an idiot in future, I’d make sure I hadn’t made any embarrassing basic grammar mistakes before hitting “submit”.
The reason for the inclusion of the reference to the Ovation guitar is that, like Yusef Stevens himself, they were inexplicably popular for a brief period, but are now recognised as being an unfortunate example of style over substance. It is an example of rhetorical irony.
If you are in fact American, as your grammar would suggest, you may wish to look up “rhetorical” and “irony” in a dictionary. A “dictionary” is a book that tells you what words mean.
Snooty Librarian & School Marm on 28 Oct 2009 at 5:33 am #
Attention Class:
It has come to my attention from Herr Drobbingdon that many of the posters and comment-makers on this Blessed website are in need of remedial assistance due to lack of intelligence and basic writing skills.
Now I know that many of these inarticulate and meaningless posts are from the coldplaying.com community, since it is almost a prerequisite to thread and post there and be dull-witted as a matter of fact.
On the other hand, The Church of Chris Martin attracts a higher-class and more intelligent poster to it’s website domain. Even the large breasted/small brained C:O:C: girls are able to string a complete sentence together that seems to make sense. The same can not be said of some of what I have seen written here recently. The atrocious lack of clear thinking skills can only point directly back to the inbred heathens and neanderthals that inhabit other websites that cater to a less intellectual crowd than this Church.
As chief Librarian and School Remedial Manager-I invite these less than stellar thinkers who continue to post here to please put down the crack pipe; stop having sex with your cousins; tell your mother to go get a new pimp and hope your dad makes bail to get out of jail! Your 14-year old girlfriend just found out she got the clap and was leaking all over the library chairs-tell her to wear underwear at school!
And study, study, study-not that it’ll help the dullards that are otherwise known as coldplaying.com!! Any more writer wannabe’s foul these precious pages up-Father Drobbingdon’s remedy will be called for: THE SWITCH, THE PADDLE, & the
Leather Doggie collar! Plus I’ll send you on TIME OUT to the Corner! You’ve been warned!
coldplaying.com on 28 Oct 2009 at 6:07 am #
Oh no! Not the “switch, paddle and leather doggie collar”! Anything but that!!! I already get enough of that at home! ;[ I sorry me masters peas not beat me.
farty mcnarty on 28 Oct 2009 at 6:08 am #
So THIS is where our tax payer money goes to. Such a shame…
i am a bitch on 01 Nov 2009 at 7:27 pm #
whoever wrote this article, you suck your father’s di*k!
God on 12 Dec 2009 at 10:19 pm #
the person who wrote this is retarted. your just pissed cause yusuf/cat stevens means waaaaaayyy more for the world than you EVER will. haha f-in loser