HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?
INTERPOL - REQUEST FOR INFORMATION:
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?
DEAN DROBBINGDON AKA SEAN EDDINGTON AKA ROB DEANINGTON
CAUCASIAN, AGE 46
FOLLOWING THE INVESTIGATION OF SOME FINANCIAL IRREGULARITIES FOUND DURING THE PRODUCTION OF VIVA LA VIDA - THE MUSICAL, A WARRANT HAS BEEN ISSUED FOR THE ARREST OF DEAN DROBBINGDON, WHO DISAPPEARED FROM HIS LONDON HOME LAST WEEK. AS A RESULT, THIS WEBSITE HAS BEEN SEIZED ALONG WITH ALL CHURCH ASSETS, PENDING INVESTIGATION.
A REWARD IS OFFERED FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO HIS ARREST.
January 24 2010 11:18 am | news
Another Bitter Divorcee on 24 Jan 2010 at 4:42 pm #
This is a load of malarkey!
Mother Drobbingdon put her henchmen up to this.
This is what you get-Father, when you try & put one over on a revengeful ex-wife. You can only money launder and hide assets for so long.
Now you can cool your heels in prison while that middle-aged strumpet makes you really rue the day you slipped a ring on that bloated, trembling fungal finger of hers.
Oh Father! YOU ARE JUST ANOTHER MAN-done in a again by a Vicious Vagina! I am ashamed to be a female today because of the calamity that has befallen you.
When will the war between the sexes even cease?
Father: please watch your backside in the Men’s Lock Down-we wish for you to come out chastened but still unviolated in the nether regions. Your anal purity is a symbol of the purity of your soul!
Church members-go to your Shrines and break out all the Coldplay music. It is time to call forth all our spiritual lucre to pray for the safety of Father among the jailbird men whose spirits may have been turned evil by coldplaying.com.
BrotheRob: Please whistle for the worldly essence of “Gibby” or Saint Cobain to come forward and beseech him for a shield of protection regarding our Great Leader. Tell him not to bother with all that Grammy business-we need him NOW for Father!
This will surely be a day of infamy in the history of Coldplay music. To have such Immaculate Leadership behind bars is an ink stain on the blotter of all mankind. Mother Drobbingdon has most certainly worn out her welcome behind the Pearly Gates of The Church of Chris Martin.
Father Drobbingdon: Be Strong in your testing of Chris Faith! We will party hearty at Glastonbury 2010 in your honor! We will hold up a cup of cheer to wish you well in prison. The C:O:C: Girls will have no one strong man to turn to when they inevitably yearn for someone to “study Coldplay lyrics” with. Oh-a terrible tragedy has befallen mankind. I must go weep among my flattering Chris photos and pray for Coldplay guidance.
Maronite Postulate Decan Nabil on 28 Jan 2010 at 10:58 pm #
Greetings In Holy Fellowship to All Church Members:
In these trying times that test our spiritual mettle, we must cleave together in mutual support to survive the desolation that finds our “Father of the Gutter”-Drobbingdon on several Interpol most wanted posters.
It is I-Holy Deacon and Maronite-Lubbite Nabil who calls upon a golden tradition of faith-where Our Lady of Perpetual Misery & The Immaculate(Spotless)Home of Piety overflows with congregants eager to light a candle or beseech a prayer on behalf of Father.
Let us Walk the Stations (buffet) of the Cross to purge the evil pustules that come at us from the Satanists: coldplaying.com. Let us admonish those wankers that their nefarious schemes can only cause the earthly body of Father Drobbingdon to be behind bars-his soaring soul and sagacious spirit will never be chained down by man.
It would be easy to miss the penitential Pilgrims 3-now out of sex rehab-and looking to party in Las Vegas with Tiger Woods. Those boys are in torment from the persecution of their figurehead-The Great Arch Pope Drobbingdon. It was He who sent the 3 sojourners out amongst the pasty-faced Brit chicks and muddy fields of glory to attain redemption from the Coldplay journey. No matter that they never once laid Holy eyes on the band-their Somerset trek made them divine sheepherders of The Noble Truth!
I invite All in Need of Counsel & a place to self-flagellate to gather among the Faithful of The Church and pray among the Coldplay icons and flattering photo’s of Chris Martin. A golden mosaic rendering of the Father among the Flock awaits your cash and credit donations. These monies are promised to go only to paying a bail bond to spring Father from the clutches of the ungodly prison guards and those who might wish to ravish Him in the cells and exercise yards of the penitentiary.
A spoken-word liturgy of Plea’s for mercy, forgiveness, and comeuppance will be read and the lovely C:O:C: women have a “interpretive dance” that conveys the Hellish Baptism of Fire that awaits those who torment our Father.
BrotheRob, True Widow, and all Saints & Apostles:
please wear your Maronite Robes and prepare the enema room for a cleansing wash. Play only Coldplay Music for 24 hours and sprinkle all faithful with the Coldplay Holy Water. Afterwards, we will feast in the Advent Room and offer sacrificial coldplaying.com T-Shirts on a burnt worship altar.
The guardians and Holy Elders of this virtual Church honor Father Drobbingdon eternally lest he be tempted by the devil once again. Please join us on The Stage of Sanctification where we pray for protection of the Arch Pope and ask for his deliverance and uphold all Holy mysteries of Coldplay lore. May the Blessings of All Remain in a Purity of Love, Peace and Serenity forevermore. Amen.
BrotheRob on 29 Jan 2010 at 8:07 am #
In a Davos State of mind.
Can someone tell me what is going on “out there” and with this website? All you have to do is whistle, you know how to whistle don’t you?
What goes on with Dean Eddington? Am I missing something and will I always? I certainly hope so, for only the truly lost can ever be found. I will read the above comments again and see if I can make any sense of anything. It should work because I’ve been under tremendous emotional stress recently and as it has lifted somewhat now I am actually able to see in colour again as opposed to black and white which is what happens to my eyes / vision / perception when I get that way… on account of “female issues”. He says my brain is okay, I guess so cause he’s the Doctor. I had a real doctor once, now I have a drop in doctor. I guess we live in a drop in world now.
BrotheRob will have a small glass of wine to help him grasp the import of the words I read. It’s working, my vision is returning. What has happened to Father Drobbingdon and who shall lead us out from certain destruction if not him and Chris Martin? Where should we direct our donations if the church has been seized?
And will Davos save the world?
I’m just going to pretend I understood most of what I read except for all the big words, I’m working on those with my little girl. Big words like ‘kidnapped’ and mummy is a a ‘criminal’. But that is not correct Church talk so I hope everyhting turns out okay and they bring back Inspector Clouseau from the dead to locate Father Drobbingdon so everything works out well in the end and nobedy gets hurt, cries or is in any other way made to feel bad for no good reason.
The only thing I know for sure is that I do not understand this world at all and probably never will, and that’s okay as long as I have a good woman (or cat) by my side, I guess.
And I did not get a lot of the last two comments but I’ll take that as a compliment. BrotheRob partially understands female inflicted related challenges Father may be experiencing as BrotheRob has this common experience also. What is left of my heart goes out to you where ever you are.
And so I hope all works out well and no one gets hurt in the end. May the Chris be with you as we wander this place looking for a home. A home for the heart and soul, and if the heart is the portal to the infinite then I want to go there too. And music is a good place to start. To feel the light of emotion to pass through ones existance is to be alive I read in a book once.
Jann Arden is sublime also (to Coldplay). Especially her early work. There is even a track on the Blood Red Cherry cd with the almost exact same opening guitar work as a Coldplay song on xyz but that sounds too much like Joe Satrianni again so just enjoy her music.
Father Come Home! on 01 Feb 2010 at 11:06 pm #
F A T H E R D R O B B I N G D O N :
Do you see what is going on here on the website?
We are being defiled and persecuted by the wankers united!
Many brave and hearty souls are making a stand but we need your wisdom, guidance, and counsel!
Please leave the Swiss Chalet and the aged Brandy (drink) behind and come home! Tell Saint Bono you want no more of his French Rivera luxurious hospitality and have had enough of the gourmet food, fancy champagne, and willing nubile women! Your vows and vestments call to you from the Great Beyond! The Church is in shambles-being hen-pecked by coldplaying.com blasphemers on the comments site.
Do you not care for the Holy Elders you have left behind? Even Chris Martin weeps in distress and has to go on The Simpson’s TV show to cheer himself up and forget his misery of your abdication of responsibilities.
Morale among the brethren and sistren is perilously dim and You-Father are to blame for this turn of events! A Glastonbury Pilgrim has offered himself up as a martyr-to go to prison on your behalf! The Pilgrims know that their Erection Shrine to be unveiled soon is in disgrace, IF you remain on the lam.
Father Drobbingdon-you must get in touch with The Church and offer some kind of direction and liturgy so that we may keep ourselves upright and strong in your absence. Blessed be the name of The Father: Drobbingdon- as he takes to a new kind of bunker-that of a spiritual crisis of faith! Drobbingdon: CALL HOME!
chicks.dig.coldplay's Peace Treaty Initiative on 03 Feb 2010 at 2:05 am #
Friends & Parishioners:
Why the recent uptick in hate mail & virulent comments?
I am sorry to say, it may be because of me, or better yet-my recent overtures to coldplaying.com to bury the hatchet. Now that Father Drobbingdon is having a mid-life crisis on the French Rivera, I strove to undertake an assignment to try and broker a peace agreement.
As is usually the case with our nemesis-rather than reach out in peace to my extended olive branch-they just seemed perplexed and befuddled. And then they sent their wrathful threaders over to our pages to taunt us Holy Ones. I am very sorry for the turmoil I have had a hand in perpetuating.
Here is the original posting on coldplaying.com’s website. See for yourself how I attempted to meekly ask for a truce in hostilities. Church: go to your Coldplay lyrical study guides and see if there might be some devotional advice I might try next to assuage these unholy threaders & smiley-faces. In Chris, I do Sing!
“Hello coldplaying.com:
I come to you in peace today as a representative of The Church of Chris Martin.
We would like to extend an olive branch to your sect today and hope to iron out a peace treaty before Glastonbury 2010.
We are ever so hopeful that Coldplay will be the other head-liner there-along with U2 and rather than be at each other’s throats; it is our wish to call a truce to all tensions and let’s just try hard to get along!
Your members may be appalled by our website; many find it creepy. I can tell you that I saw Chris Martin this past summer and when I shouted out the name of The Church as he ran past up to the cheap seats-he flashed me a BIG SMILE! I believe Chris Martin is AMUSED by the postings and creative commentary there because it is so “out there.” Many Church members are just as taken aback by coldplaying.com and your lack of meaningful content but I think it is high time that we stop the bickering and make a peace treaty together.
Please feel free to visit The Church comments section and respond to this overture. The Holy War is over! The Pope at the Vatican even wishes us to come together in peace and put the atrocities behind us. The Church wishes to honor Saint Bono out of U2 this summer at Glastonbury and we hope to invite the high dignitaries from coldplaying.com to be our guests at several prestigious events.
Please pray for a cessation of tensions so that we can both co-exist in peace and a mutual and undying love for everything that is Coldplay & Chris Martin. Viva!”
chicks.dig.coldplay is offline Reply With Quote
BrotheRob on 03 Feb 2010 at 8:42 am #
And it is precisely because of the completely incomprehensible jibberish that some people write on this site that we do need the guiding hand of the Great One, and I’m not talking about God. While Chris Martin is undoubtedly the ultimate and only arbiter of truth and beauty in this world / along with many others, Father Drobbingdon has on occasion shared universal wisdom with us such that I truly feel all the time I’ve spent here has been more than well spent.
Sure I could spend my time somewhere not making a difference on some site where thought actually does not matter, but why bother when I can just mouse around here knowing maybe 3 people in the entire known unverse will ever read this and be that much poorer in spirit that?
And so on a seasonally adjusted note here I would just like to notify Mr. Santa that next Christmas would be a good time for some new tunes from Coldplay but then all good things in their own time.
What about that Beyonce lady at the Gramys? We should all be so lucky to have great legs like her. She could open a removal challenged container lid with those vice grips, or perhaps arrest a fleeing felon. And the Michael Jackson song was quite good also, even from beyond the grave he still has the touch.We hear you Michael, we feel your love.
Well I must go now and plot my next catastrophe. And may the Chris be with you as long as you cast a shadow in this world or any other. And remember to always carry a little song in your heart, because if you don’t you are part of the problem and we don’t need any more problems in this world. And finally, only the truly lost are welcome here… for even they eventually find themselves.
2nd Peace Treaty Initiative on 04 Feb 2010 at 2:11 am #
Greetings in Fellowship & Struggle to all Church Members; God Bless you BrotheRob!
It is I: chicks.dig.coldplay-still trying to effect a Peace Treaty between The Church of Chris Martin & coldplaying.com. The 1st one elicited little if no response and a few sneers on the threads of coldplaying.com. Next thing: our comment pages were awash in negativity and evil blandishments! I am not blaming coldplaying.com for these outright smears, but the timing is certainly suspicious.
Church: Please hear me know-We must cleave together for our survival. Pit bull divorce attorneys are at work as I write this-seeking to take title and control of this Holy site. Father Drobbingdon continues his hedonistic escapades in the South of France, and it is just myself, the True Widow, BrotheRob, & assorted Glastonbury Pilgrims that are metaphorically holding this all together.
Please ask for and seek succor from the goodness and grace that is Chris Martin. We must anchor ourselves ever so more in his music and meaning, as we strive to move forward and battle those that wish us ill and seek to dismantle this Holy Sanctity of Coldplay.
Here is a copy of that Peace Appeal I posted today on coldplaying.com:
“Hello to all coldplaying.com members:
I have returned to issue yet another appeal to your good graces and ask that Jen-Jen or any other coldplaying.com representative please respond to the Peace Offering extended to you by The Church of Chris Martin.
We harbor no ill will towards coldplaying.com and only wish your website the best.
In this case, I and the other Holy Elders from The Church seek to convey the High Leadership of coldplaying.com an invitation to attend the Glastonbury Pilgrims Invocation this summer which will feature our Hallowed Guest: Holy Saint Bono.
We will offer you a seat on the Golden Dais and several VIP passes to our Yellow Tents-pitched on the muddy fields of Somerset, but still a darn good time!
As you may be aware, our leader- Father Drobbingdon has taken leave of his senses and gone on the lam from the law & his ex-wife-with her grasping divorce lawyers not far behind! This has thrown the Church into spiritual turmoil. We only wish peaceful relations from here on in with coldplaying.com and merely request that you ask your members to refrain from posting inflammatory comments on our website comments page.
It is with a heart full of gladness that I officially welcome coldplaying.com as a FRIEND of The Church of Chris Martin. I will formally write up a Co-website Friendship Agreement and post it on our pages so that all Blessed members of the Church now know that hostilities between us have now ceased.
God (and Chris) Bless coldplaying.com in infinitum. Viva!:)”
Deaconess on 04 Feb 2010 at 7:10 pm #
In An Effort to Support Morale Among Church Members as We battle the spiritual Morass that Afflicts Us:
THE CHURCH OF CHRIS MARTIN is
PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE:
Glastonbury Celebration & FUN(d)-Raising Event! HONOR THE HOLY PILGRIMS 3-Blessed Souls who made the Glastonbury trek for enlightenment!
with special guests: THE C: O: C: girls..
True Widow.. and in a rare public appearance.. (we hope) BrotheRob! And if Father Drobbingdon wishes to stealthily appear-please Father-dress incognito..as a woman!
COME MEET & GREET THE 3 MEN THE WHOLE WORLD IS TALKING ABOUT…brave, fearless soldiers of sanctification..venturing forth in faith to claim the HOLY MANTLE of Deliverance and knowledge from Glastonbury and Coldplay! Hear their stories of mirth, merriment, mud, motels, saggy mattresses, moldy sandwiches, and Brit girls badly in need of a tanning salon and a dentist!
Contribute to this worthy cause: We Seek to erect a Phallic Monument on their behalves that will forever Bless the pious grounds of Glastonbury. It will rival Stone Henge as a tourist trap and many chaste devotees have already come forward to claim that rubbing up against the Erect Limestone has cured them of ailments as diverse as bad first dates and constipation!
The fund-raiser will take place shortly and we are assembling a VIP list! Church-hold onto your minds-they are about to be blown! WE HAVE INVITED The Top Clan Leaders of coldplaying.com! Yes-Church: they do come out to party among the living AND in the daylight hours! Whether they have the nerve to show up is a good question?
The C: O: C: girls will offer a special “ERECTION DANCE” that is guaranteed to titillate. If BrotheRob shows up, he may play some tunes he crafted with Auto Tune and the New Gibby band. The True Widow will regale the gathering with tales of her “prison jaunt.” And The Pilgrims 3 will be signing special Erection posters that are bound to become collector’s items on certain depraved porn websites!
Guests can light special Holy Coldplay candles to Bless the Band and we will send the proceeds to Haiti Relief efforts.
The Church of Chris Martin would be hugely honored for a good turn-out at this Fun(d)-Raising Event! Please keep an eye out for a Facebook or emailed invitation shortly. Hallelujah and come drop some EUROS for phallic fun @ our non-denominational special event!
Please Note: A disclaimer..”Event subject to change or cancellation,” due to issues regarding the Health Department,UK Disease Prevention Offices, and Vice Detectives not able to be corrupted.
MAY THE BLESSINGS OF COLDPLAY BE UPON YOU & YOURS!
Poetress of the Meadow on 06 Feb 2010 at 4:26 pm #
WHERE ART THOU, F A T H E R ?
Whilst I amble among the flowers in the field;
I ask myself- Where is our noble figurehead, our mordant leader, our righteous shield?
Has he been swayed away by vixens, temptresses or another sexually-transmitted disease-
all I ask of you, Father-is to call home, please!
Soon summer will be upon us & Glastonbury yet again calls your name;
as we set up the Yellow Tents & stop tour buses; we’ll put coldplaying.com yet again to shame!
Father, I plead with you to stop this “sabbatical” & return to your Holiest flocks;
With you gone, I nary can bring myself to “study” the lyrics of “Clocks.”
It’s not like The Arch Pope Drobbingdon to leave his congregants to the mercy of the bourgeois;
though life must be very plush on the French Rivera-je nais c’est quoi!
Father..the C:O:C: women are besides themselves with nary a lust; their sorrow at your leaving has even deflated their over-sized busts!
BrotheRob mopes away the time in Vancouver; watching the toothless hookers and others stroll by-
In his booziest moments, all he can do is ask this question: WHY,WHY,WHY?
True Widow wishes to drown her sorrows by going back to the ladies jail; to seek spiritual solace among the damned may really just turn out to be an EPIC FAIL!
Father, I beg you-stop this silly nonsense and come back to where you belong; I hope that whatever small, chic French Rivera town you are currently hiding in…your spirit hears this song!
For our “Father of the Gutter” is still our Father, despite his misdeeds. That reminds me…just where did you hide that big bag of weed?
IN GOODNESS WE LOVE & TRUST DROBBINGDON. HE TOOK ALL OUR MONEY, JEWELRY, the best C:O:C: women, and the lyrics to the Rock Opera: “The Scientist” but we LOVE him none-the-less. IN DROBBINGDON, we are truly blessed! Amen.
The Meadow Psychiatric Case Manger on 06 Feb 2010 at 8:32 pm #
FATHER Drobbingdon:
I am the Psycho Manager here at The Meadow Insane Asylum. Can you see how your misdeeds have agitated the patients here? Your absconding with their dole checks and state food allotments have forced many patients into penury!
I do believe that the “financial misappropriations” of your cult and the granting of “indulgences” to horny rock stars was a last grasp at padding you bank account and fleeing with the proceeds. Now your days are spent luxuriating in excess, while The Poetress and many other delusional converts from The Church of Chris Martin dine on cat food and moldy bread.
The Asylum has had to double the dosage of calming medications to the various dazed clients you cheated and who chant your name and whistle Coldplay songs incessantly. Our Head Clinic Analyst has coined a new psycho-social term for this virulent, emerging disease: “Coldplay-itis.”
Father Drobbingdon: I demand that you immediate;ly return the monies “donated” to you, without official approval-back to The Meadow, where we may then have sufficient funds to treat the many ill parishioners whose lives and mental health I hold YOU responsible for ruining! Sincerely,
Nurse Ratchett.
The King of The LepreChons on 07 Feb 2010 at 6:51 am #
I (the sorry one) shall start crawling to England now and hope to arrive in time for Glastonbury. Until then I must cope with my sorry and pitiful life here in dark a scary Vancouver and am left to only wonder what life must be like on the French Riviera. I used to think the French Riviera was a river in France. And I still believe the Dolly Lama is Phil Silvers.
Now maybe I missed a beat or something but are Galstonbury and the Haiti relief gig too separate events? I sure hope so becasue the part of my brain which deals with that kind of stuff just told me it was a “no-brainer”. Anything is possible in this reality.
Like, where is Father Drobbingdon and will Coldplay ever put out some new tunes or are we just going to see Chris Martin on the news one night signing a hundred billion dollar deal with Wayne New
ton to buy Las Vegas and play there when he is not playing on the French Riviera? Am I still not making any sense?
Some of the humans walking around this planet are too good for the now cold ovens of Aushwitz. But not to worry because as Chris has said,”Not to worry because I think we are all part of a plan”. So that must be part of the plan to fill the world with bad people and see what happens, that’s a good plan I must say.
Myself, I prefer to live in a world where everyone is a gingerbread figure and politics is something they don’t allow on that planet. Only good people and the history of you are allowed to exsit in Gingerbread World and we don’t accept cash or Visa.
All we accept is what you can give from your heart and we do accept from those whose hearts have been torn apart
All we hope for is a world free of whatever spell got this one down but never quite undid the pain that is your crown
I have to go now and practice walking on water because when the floods come you don’t want to caught shitless without a prayer.
And for those of you who want to hear a timelass cd, go out and buy “Happy” by Jann Arden. You know Elvis Grooves to her sound up there, somewhere deep inside the Great Beyond. She is quite IT like Chris Martin / Coldplay are in pure creativity and soul. I’ve seen her many times and she actually signed my Gingerbread Red 57 Strat at the QE Theatre once upon a time in the year 2000. Or was that part of my dream also?
And if life is taking place inside a dream and that and one day we all wake up… am I then awake, or am I still dreaming? And how would I know the difference? In Gingerbread Land we have a saying:”The thing about life is, like in a dream, in the end we all become the truth. As the story of our life shapes us we become the doormat upon which God will walk one day.
Until then we must make the best of things and fret not about things we cannot change like the French Riviera, and try to change the things we can… like why is the caviar I buy so expensive and if poor people can’t afford spam then they can eat cat food can’t they? Does the state have to do everything, including killing people while they are still alive?
I certainly hope the Haiti fund raiser goes well and we raise enough money to BURY ALL THE DEAD HAITIANS. Or why not just give the money to Saint Baby Doc so he can have permanent upkeep on his gravesite?
And may the Chris be with you as long as the French are still Riviera.
Monsiuer Loan-Shark de Cannes on 07 Feb 2010 at 3:59 pm #
Monsieur Father Drobbingdon:
Merci pour vous rouge cou, mais I must be to tell you that many jewels and diamonds you bring to Le Pawnshop d’Cannes have come back as “stolen” on Interpol report.
Je m’occupe de mes affaires-and your jeune filles are tres bien, but I must decline your offer of dalliances with your pimp women of C:O:C: C’est-à-dire, Monsieur Drobbingdon- mot free n’a pas été trouvé. I am married to wonderful woman and don’t not C:O:C: around, merci beaucoup.
You must return to the Pawnshop to claim your items.
Perhaps the Interpol gerdames may wish to parle avec vous. The jewelry is registered to a “Mother Drobbingdon,” “Mother Superior Mary,” and “Queenie Elizabeth” of the Tranny Show.
Mais oui, Monsieur Drobbingdon-Au plaisir de vous revoir. Hello to all the sallop chiennes et vit une vie à succès, mon ami!
Dieu bénissez-vous
Nous serons toujours en contact, Monsieur Loanshark.
Student Doctor H. Patel on 08 Feb 2010 at 8:49 pm #
Father Drobbingdon:
As is apparent from my perusing this site, not only are you a jewel thief and disrespect-er of Queen Elizabeth, but you have also managed to sow your wild oats and “seeds” with several “ladies” who are now clients and patients at the pre-natal clinic I intern in.
These women claim that as part of Church “social activities” and “studying Coldplay lyrics” with you in your rectory, passion for the band got out of hand. It is mentioned that the Church of Chris Martin is actively following the “Mormon growth model-” that is, knock as many women up as possible to increase the congregation.
The UK Healthcare system will now be subsiding your “devout attention to attractive parishioners ” and the resultant off spring. Please know this-Father Drobbingdon. You best pawn some more stolen jewelry because paternity claims will soon be the next thing you’ll be on the lam for.
Special hint: next time you “worship Chris Martin” at Church, please do so with a Trojan firmly in place. Sincerely, Student Doctor Patel.
Infectious Disease Specialist on 13 Feb 2010 at 3:39 am #
Father Drobbingdon, you must immediately come back to the Clinic, as we have received the lab work from your “mystery ailment.” The spreading contagion is a virulent form of the monkey-eating skin disease found in sub-tropical Africa.
Very similar in chemistry to the AIDIS virus, this skin disorder can replicate itself in a matter of hours to cover the entire body with weeping sores and bloody pustules. It is a most unattractive sight.
I will issue a Euro Health Alert so Interpol may contact you only in a full-body latex suit and industrial-strenth gloves. You must be transported in a sani-cage to a full-spectrum hospital setting and put in sterile confinement while specialized skin-melting serums are applied hourly to stop the ooze of infection.
Father Drobbingdon: it is urgent that you return immediately to facilitate treatment as this has now become a trans-border epidemic of catastrophic importance. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter. Dr. Grey Anatomy
Ghost of Ed McMahon on 13 Feb 2010 at 4:08 pm #
GOOD NEWS for Father Drobbingdon!
YOU, Sir are a winner in the latest UK Lottery!
Your entry has been picked to win a large, tax-free sum of money and as an incentive-we will throw in a cruise to the Greek Isles, if you claim this prize immediately.
The Prize Committee would like you to surrender..I mean come in to our headquarters as soon as possible to present your identification and passport to receive this stupendous prize package.
There may be bobbies..oops..Committee official on hand to personally welcome you at the front door of The UK Lottery Offices. We look forward to nabbing..uh..meeting you most assuredly soon!
SINCERELY, The Prize Committee.
Father's Long Lost Son on 13 Feb 2010 at 10:03 pm #
Father, I do really mean Father!
I am your long-lost son, Jefferson Drobbingdon.
You and my mamma had a sordid affair many years ago and I am the result of that one drunken night of passion and premature ejaculation.
Mamma-on her deathbed told me the truth. You are my daddy! She begged me not to go and find you but I was browsing the internet and found this wonderful website of yours. It is hilarious and very entertaining.
Father-I am all alone in the world without a penny to my name. Mamma was a poor, struggling single mother and left me without a roof over my head or a slice of bread in the cupboard. Please Father, may I know where you are in the south of France-so that I might get to know you better. Blood is thicker than French wine, gourmet escargot, topless women on the beach, and Saint Bono’s chateau-I think? Daddy-where are you?
Open Heartfelt Letter to Our Soul Master on 17 Feb 2010 at 10:36 pm #
Dearest Divine One: A Plea to Chris Martin!
I bow down in prostration to your Holiness & Light.
I seek ye out in a sincere capability of unmitigated, shimmering LOVE that calls out a heartfelt plea to you, our most Angelic host.
I, the repentant one, cry out to you in the London wilderness. Whilst you labor on the “striped down acoustic music” that will thrill our souls on the earthly plane, might you also prophet our Dear Father Drobbingdon home?
Look up to the stars (Yellow) and ask Saint Cobain to fill your heart with His abiding love that will allow you to promulgate a direction and path of enlightenment that our fallowed Father might follow back to his flock that eagerly awaits his return.
Dearest Blessed Chris: we of your congregation doth bless you and follow your every lyrical word as you 42 us, fix us, scientist us, and X, Y, & Z us onto the starry night sky of dreams and wishes fulfilled.
It is with a heart full of abiding devotion & love that I plead for your words of prophecy to order Father Drobbingdon out of Saint Bono’s Cannes wine cellar and back to his Sanctuary of Coldplay ardor.
Please, our John the Baptist: help alight the path to righteousness of the Saints & Apostles who uphold every (Chris)tian virtue on your behalf. I send greetings from all the Holy Ones who tred your path to musical redemption. I leave you with a most Holy Kiss and thanks for all your worldly tasks. Viva!
The Fear Council on 18 Feb 2010 at 5:53 am #
The Grand Elders of The Fear Council would like to wish BrotheRob a most pleasant and happy birthday. And may the Chris be with you all. Where is Drobbingdon?
Mother Superior on 18 Feb 2010 at 3:37 pm #
H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y B R O T H E R O B !
A blessing and chalice of Church wine goodness you are!
A friend to all who roam the evening streets of
DrugWars Vancouver & ply their illegal trades.
BTW-how’s the Olympics going up your way?
A morsel of medieval madness that sings the truth to the brethren & sistren among us at The Sancitified Church of Brother Martin.
Please accept our flock’s best wishes for another year of yearning for whores and trying to make music on the Tone Lab. The question you ask: Where is Drobbingdon? is one that all true converts also cry out? Stay strong, BrotheRob. Happy Birthday.
BrotheRob on 22 Feb 2010 at 6:51 am #
Ask not of your creator why am I thinking such and such, but rather how did it ever become so that our creator could think and feel us into exsistence? And not just your average garden variety life as some form of pre-conscious crustaceous-like creature, but human life and all it can offer.
These things I ponder and more, like where is the Exalted One and is he comfortably resting his Golden Butt now? And for what cause have all things come to pass I am sure we will all find out oneday in good time and am reminded of a Jewish syaing about how God created humans so he/we would not be lonely.
And so I wonder if things will ever be made right in such a world gone so horribly upside down in a most upsetting way. Which is precisely why we need one another and must remain One in the Love and United in the Harmony which is the the Truth and the Music of Coldplay.
The Olympics are pretty cool I guess if you are part of it, but BrotheRob is way too busy planning my Revolutuonary Website, based on the holy economic ramblings of William K Black, author of the 2005 non-fiction thriller “The Best Way to Rob a Bank… is to Own One”. He was one of the regulators who unwound the S&L crisis ihn the States. Every copy is individually printed and for a slight bit more you can have the edition upgrded book bomb stuts and have rush delivered rush deliver to the ponzi scheme of your choice . He knows exactly what is going down now and it’s a little creepy.
BrotherRob wishes Santa was real and the Olympics would would just go away and take all the jingoism with them.
So is there any hope for our pathetic civilization and the poor excuse for humanity we are so bad at even pretending to be? I hope not.
Humanity should just completely surrender now to the power of Coldplay’s music and we could have world peace instantly. If only it were so simple. But in this universe of blood and guts it always is a mess and always will be as long as we breathe in this world. It’s part of the plan. I guess.
And so I look forward with eager delight to more music from the soul form they call Chris Martin and The Band. Together they are one in the light and dance like leaves which will forever blow on the wind which breathes us. And so is the power and wonder of life that such art can even be made if only the risk be taken.
May the Chris be with you as we slowly crawl forward into the past one more time just to make sure we understand things in our heart permanently and don’t repeat the errors of yesterday yet again.
With face to the wind we stay strong
And can in time undo any wrong
And such is the glory and wonder of life
Sister Chastity of the Virgin Nuns on 22 Feb 2010 at 7:46 pm #
Dearest Father: Good news for you.
A number of C:O:C: women held a fund-raiser for you this weekend. I won’t tell you what these devout girls did to RAISE monies for your defense but it was done with a faithful spirit of mercy so it is hoped that God will forgive their “trespasses.”
Now that the bushes and muddy patches of road have had a workout, and confessions have been accepted-the Virgin Nuns are amazed at all the filthy lucre now accrued. Mother Superior Mary prayerfully said the Virgin Nuns made the wrong career choice after this wild weekend.
Nevertheless, we sent out sexiest C:O:C: girls up to procure the services of the top criminal defense attorney in London on your behalf. Fortunately this esquire was very susceptible to the sexual blandishments (and monies raised)that was offered him in exchange for a top-flight Drobbingdon defense.
As long as a few C:O:C: women go “para-legal” him on a regular basis, we now have a very well-connected
shark lawyer who will battle to free you of the criminal yoke now upon you.
Never let it be said-Father Drobbingdon-that the women of the Church would not go to ANY lengths to free you of the spiritual hackles that restrain you from your noble return and magnanimous upholding of the guidance that providence and Chris Martin has foisted upon your weary bones! May the Yellow be Not of Urine and only the Colors that light the Night Sky & guide you along the Holy Paths to Coldplay Redemption & a speedy return to the Blessed Church flock. Viva!
Ashley on 27 Feb 2010 at 10:07 pm #
Why do you write comments to yourself??
Ashleys Mum on 28 Feb 2010 at 3:40 pm #
ASHLEY!
I told you to stay off the internet!
Until you get your marks up at Catholic School,
you are NOT to spend any time fooling around here.
I told you to stay away from those girls that wear
black all the time and kiss each other. You did not listen to your mum. You smoke that funny fag and then come home with red eyes! You are a blemish on the family name.
Then you went and took the ferry to Mercy and went down below with those boys they call Chavs! Nothing good came of that now, did it? Nine months later…
I will tell you one more time Ashley. Stay off the internet. Leave this poor Church & their Saint Chris alone. Have the nuns at the academy not taught you to honor your spiritual forebears?
You are to immediately stop this nonsense. Next time, mum and step-daddy will cut the Shaw cable and you can sit in the dark thinking about what an ill-behaved ninny you are. Love Always, your mum.
Official Statement from Father Drobbingdon's Press Secretary: Kitty the Stripper on 16 Mar 2010 at 2:17 am #
O F F I C I A L P R E S S R E L E A S E
from the office of the Arch Pope:
F A T H E R D R O B B I N G D O N :
“I would like to take this opportunity to make my official statement on the Vatican Scandal involving abuse within the German Cathedral Choir and Pope Benedict’s brother. I fear that the Church of Chris Martin may unwittingly be pulled into this debacle as many Church members like to sing in choirs.
Furthermore,I have-in my sacred capacity as Church Overlord been extremely careful to only chose those female “spiritual assistants” who are not only comely but also over the age of 18 and have signed a legal consent form. In order to properly “study Coldplay lyrics,” it is necessary to ferret out those ladies who truly have a over-whelming passion and orgasmic yen for the band. This is a Sanctimonious duty that I alone must bear the burden of proving. Let it never be said that Father does not throw himself into his parsonage duties with a fervor some might equate to sex.
However, The Church of Chris Martin does not seek out young altar girls and boys; as do our(perverted) Catholic brethren. This might cause too much consternation. Our Sacred obligation is to only allow those Sisters who are blessed with a ample bosom of 40 DD or greater to attain a “horizontal confession of faith” with Father Drobbingdon, after a consent is signed and a “health inquiry”(STD test)is passed.
Therefore, should you pass the Church rectory after a weekend Coldplay Lyrical Mass and hear strange noises or find the walls to be shaking, please know that it is the sheer ecstacy of a physical manifestation of ultimate Chris Martin worship that overcomes many who call this humble Congregation home.
My duty as Arch Pope-is to always enlighten, ennoble, and assume full responsibility for the divine blessings of Coldplay music and uniquely bestow that sacred knowledge onto the bodies of those that seek to expand their coterie of mind-expansion and bold expressions of desire. As such-there is no sex scandal here at this Church, since we are all consenting adults!
May the Spirit of “Yellow” overcome one and all in an orgasmic fervor of united kinship that will overcome all boundaries of the physical and unite all brethren and sistren into one spiritual apparition forever. Go in the Peace of Chris. Amen.
Father Friedl on 01 Apr 2010 at 3:37 pm #
Hear Ye Oh Church!
My name is Father Freidl & I am the director of an intense 12-Step Program for wandering Men-of-the-Cloth.
As those who follow Vatican News on a regular basis should be aware, there is scandalous, shocking behavior among those with a Higher Calling. Your dear Father Drobbingdon is no different. Despite his religious vows, he is only a man of flesh and blood-with the human needs and wants that follow along with that.
As such, I must reassure Church members-your Spiritual Leader is receiving the best pastoral care and making firm progress in identifying why it is he feels that as Arch Pope-he took advantage of a series of comely females-in the name of Chris Martin.
Yes-dearest brethren and sistren: not all abusing priests are after the young altar flesh. Some of those in thrall to Satan just like what comes along at their Parish and if the Devil makes them do it- they need to exorcise that sex demon out of their souls. Your Father is making steady progress at my gated facility and wishes to pass along HAPPY EASTER GREETINGS & HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S DAY to all at The Church of Chris Martin! Amen.
Easter Message from The Holy Elders (and Ezekiel) on 04 Apr 2010 at 9:12 pm #
“The Lord Spoke to me again, saying “Human, when The Church of Chris Martin was living in their land, coldplaying.com made it unclean by their ways and the things they did. They were like a woman’s uncleaness in her time of monthly bleeding. So, I poured out my anger against them because they blasphemed in the land and because they made the web unclean with their smiley face idols. I then scattered them among the nations and they were spread through the countries. They dishonored the holy name of The Church of Chris Martin in the nations where they went.”
So I punished them for how they lived and what they did. Their frivolous website is struggling and weak.
Whereas, The Church of Chris Martin is a beacon of light and rapture amongst the peoples of the world.
So the Great Lord sayeth: ” I am going to act and help along the Holy name of Chris Martin. I will prove the holiness of his glorious name. I will take your Church and gather up ye blessed brethren and sistren and sprinkle the Holy Coldplay water upon your earthly countenances in a cherished anointing.
I will put the Spirit of Chris inside you-most Devoted Disciples of the Soul Master. I will make your hearts obedient to Coldplay and Holy God. This is the Day that the Lord has made. I will increase your flock through no help by way of Father Drobbingdon and his “mormon model” of impregnation.
Yes sisters and brothers, let us prophecy that the new Coldplay “striped-down” music that “may suck” and perhaps might include “jazz-fusion” shall move forward our Blessed Agenda of Music Domination and Sanctification of the Female Messiah.
Let the World Behold the Glory of Coldplay, Chris Martin and our Devout Church of Love. Be Prepared-Oh Blessed Ones for our time is upon us. The Lord will Bless us beyond measure and We also will rise on a heavenly cloud of Coldplay piety to bathe in the majesty of our Dear Arisen Holy Saint Cobain and others who have gone before us.
Let us Bow down and proclaim the absolute measure of Chaste Certitude for all things Chris Martin. May you all be Blessed by the Sanctuary of Coldplay forevermore. Go in the spirit of peace and greet one another with Holy kisses. Amen.
BoutiqueClear on 07 Apr 2010 at 6:02 am #
I’m not sure what all that means but it has a prance-full poetic feeling about it and am sure will inspire millions around the globe to become one with the light of Coldplay consciousness.
Myself and Brother Lawrence have died and gone to heaven as in I now live in a real home with really nice homeless people in the alley way out back.
But at least from here I can launch phase two of my plan to alter the destiny of planet earth, much like Chris and Coldplay do, only on a micro-music scale, which I am sure one day will enthrall millions.
In the meantime I am sure the stripped down / jazz fusion / country-funkadelic / Motown-Beantown / hip-hop / James Brown inspired (by Rick James) cd will be quite good for sure.
And I hope that Father Drobbingdon does well with his treatement program and am sure will land on his feet.
And also that the sun will rise in the east tomorrow and plants will continue to grow with birds in the trees and jellyfish are taking over the oceans.
May the Chris be with you and may you reach your dreams or at least try.
Sister Lilith de Sinenomine on 02 May 2010 at 2:15 am #
Is Father back home now or is he still wandering anywhere? Last time in my dreams, I saw him in Amsterdam, with very Green Eyes, and his Feet was not Touching the Ground upon which, all the same, he tried to pick up a Yellow pen. May Chris the true God bless his journey well and make him come back to us again, walking proudly towards the Violet Hill where this virtual Church is built. Brothers & Sisters in Coldplay, please let us join our hands and pray for the back coming of our Father. And you Father, may the Dailight of Chris Martin’s grace be always on you everywhere you could be. You can send us Postcards From the Far Away you are. We Never Change though you’re not here with us. We really hope we will See You Soon, your Blue Room is waiting for you. Remember dear Church members, Everything’s Not Lost and Help is Round the Corner. Let your faith Bloom Blaum in Chris. Cheer up brethren and sistren. Chris is with you.
Til Kingdom Come
P.S: Facing any difficulties, Don’t you Panic, just open your mouth and say “X & Y” 42 times at a musical rocking voice and problems will be quickly resolved.
Viva!
Sister Lilith REPENT NOW! on 02 May 2010 at 3:57 am #
Oh Blessed Sister of the Frog Domain!
It is always with a gladdened heart that I read your postings and comments!
They undoubtedly bring a measure of cherished peace to my heavy heart. They are of a sunflower blossoming in the early morning dew drops of a recent rain.
But Sister de Sinenomine, pray tell do you not know of the Devil’s insignia-that is the defiled “smiley face” that identifies a basement wanker of the coldplaying.com persuasion? Have you not yet acquired the spiritual knowledge to NEVER use those accursed symbols of indemnity and reprobation?
My dear Frenchie Saint of the Seine-please apologize for that horrible yellow slap at the Church face.
REPENT and ask Chris for forgiveness and a Yellow anointing so that you remain in the Vestibule’s good graces. Glastonbury will soon be upon us and Lilith-I am told that Saint Bono has requested a special Papal audience with you alone in the Yellow Tent-whereby you may “study Coldplay lyrics” with the Irish Soul Master!
Please my Sister: Blessings Be Upon You! In Chris Holiness, may you redeem your Sacred Heart-In Viva, I do Pray. Amen.
Church Inquisition Committee on 07 May 2010 at 4:11 am #
This is a directive to Sister Lilith de Sinenomine:
The Church Holy Elder Inquisition Committee would like to call Lilith before the Committee to answer some questions regarding your true affiliations.
Due to the last comment you left on the virtual Church website that included the dreaded smiley face of coldplaying.com, several Church members have requested you ingest the Chris Martin Truth Serum and be questioned by a Board of Overseers. Our only concern is that you confess any activities considered
as UnChrisMartined. This is a requirement, Sister Lilith-if you wish to participate in any Glastonbury Yellow Tent events. The Inquisition Committee must vet your selection as “special friend” to Saint Bono when he graces our Tents with his Holy Presence.
Kindly make plans to come to the next Church of Chris Martin Lyrical Study Sunday Service. The inquisition procedure may take several hours. No imbibing of Chris Martin Holy Wine allowed. You will be required to condemn and disavow all ties with coldplaying.com, should you wish to maintain good standing with this Sanctuary. Blessings to all true friends. Amen.
Chris on 07 May 2010 at 8:29 pm #
You all are BLASPHEMERS! It’s one thing to love his muxic and stand by his morals. It’s another to worship him the way you are. Don’t forget who the one true God is. Your mouths are filled with sewage and your minds are in a filthy gutter. If that’s the way you talk about women then you don’t deserve to have anyone at all. Chris Martin would feel the same way. He cares about his family. This site should be shut down!
Blasphemy Committee on 08 May 2010 at 4:01 pm #
Along with Sister Lilith de Sinenomine, the Church Adjudication of Blasphemy Committee would like to invite “Chris” to come before it with his complaints.
The Church will call forth many witnesses to indemnify itself against these scurrilous charges. A reading of the Writ of Denunciation will be unveiled, and in the place of Father Drobbingdon-now in sex detox treatment-we will have the Great True Widow-handling the parliamentary proceedings.
Chris: Hear thee well-if you have taken more than a cursory look through the Virtual Church Holy writings, you would see for yourself how much the Church honors the One True God-we humble peons thank God every day for sending us Jesus, and after Him-Holy Saint Cobain, and today’s True Prophet-Chris Martin.
We honor all women of the Church and also thank the Lord for all those lovely ladies who grace our Yellow tents and gain us so much valuable Church and website publicity. The Church shows great pride that many big-busted and curvy damsels desire Chris in a family way-as we all do.
In fact, Chris-you do a disservice to families everywhere when you criticize our Church “family.”
We have taken the Bible’s words to heart-to seek out forgotten souls and those less fortunate and give them a cherished place to call “home.” High Priest BrotheRob can attest to that.
You have committed the ultimate blasphemy and desecration by saying “this site should be shut down.” The only person with that superseded power of authority is the Great Father Drobbingdon-much beloved author and founder of The Church of Chris Martin. Please say your good-byes to your families and friends-Chris-as the Committee will bid you due justice for the defilement and consternation you have wrought upon yourself. May the Mercy of Chris Martin Be Upon Your Soul! It is done. Amen.
Danella on 11 May 2010 at 3:07 pm #
Blasphemy Comittee..hahahhahahahahhahaha man this site made my day! your names are sooo funyy..pff blasphemy committee. if this site is a joke then it succeeded with me!
Immediate Rectification Meeting Called on 11 May 2010 at 6:41 pm #
hahahahahahah-Danella. Glad you find this all so hilarious. Guess what, cupcake? You are the next one called up before the Blasphemy Committee. The Holy Elders are sick of all the lectures from illiterate idiots about how the Church is going to hell! Hardly an option for the spiritual forbears of Father Drobbingdon-we are on the fast track to Heaven.
How dare you dare to come on these Holy Virtual Church website pages and mock our institution? What makes you so all-knowing? You will be strung up with the rest of the defilers and besmirchers-Chris (not Martin) and perhaps Sister Lilith-if she doesn’t repent soon! The Glastonbury Holy Pilgrims will force you to listen to Robbie Williams and Mariah Carey songs ad nauseum, until your ears burst from the abject horror of it all.
Then we will parade you muffin heads up and down the aisle at the next Church of Chris Martin Lyrical Study Committee. We will urinate on Chris Martin Holy Water and sprinkle that on you-which surely will send you straight to Hell. How humorous does that sound, Danella.
Go have your nut doctor check you back into the looney bin. It’s time for your medications and perhaps a lobotomy too! I call on the Power of Chris Martin’s Holy Church to punish all cretins, wankers, blasphemers, and small-minded sex fiends for the wrath of oppressive hate they promulgate! Blessed Saint Cobain-throw these rascals into the “Lake of Fire” along with the rest of the bunch awaiting perdition! Viva and Amen.
Danella on 11 May 2010 at 6:57 pm #
alrightey! Immediate Rectification Meeting Called you too are funny..
Danella on 11 May 2010 at 7:02 pm #
nd i lyk robbie willie..hes good..mariah too…so no prob wit me..
Danella on 11 May 2010 at 7:34 pm #
hope the opposite dont happen..me n my not chris believer pals putting urin on you and all..and seriously..Saint Bono?? really??…tsk tsk
Danella on 11 May 2010 at 8:20 pm #
did you read ANYWHERE in the Bible that there willl be another saviour after Jesus..or did u read that there will be false prophets?? although chris martin probaly dsnt know u exist and if he found out-or already did- about u he wuld get probably get soo pissed..shame
Danella on 12 May 2010 at 4:31 pm #
and lilith must repent because she used a SMILEY FACE???!!! and smiley faces are from the devil??!!! :O you guys are RETARDS and HILARIOUS!
:PP
Bible Scholar & Chris-Follower on 13 May 2010 at 2:25 pm #
Danella: you are such a lame brain! How to prove that point? You question the Bible! There is another Savior coming and it it in the Book of Revelations! The Last Book of the Bible! It tells of the 2nd Coming of Christ! The Earth’s final Days where the Angels of God will descend and cleanse the earthly plain of all that is evil and despicable to God. To ready the world for the 2nd Coming where Earth shall be turned into a heavenly dwelling of pure souls.
And you Danella,-and your questioning and un-believing ilk-are just what will be heading soon to purgatory and beyond for the final judgment of Hades. We reserve the right to allot a certain crate of Church enemies to take that gravy train to Hell. Why-you most will certainly ask? Because Prophet Chris Martin has written, sung, and knows of this 2nd coming-it is on the cover of Viva La Vida. Chris Martin is the Prophet of The 2nd Coming of the Lord. But this time the Lord is a FEMALE MESSIAH!
Scoff & laugh all you like, my feeble-minded friend. At least you seek & enjoy the mirth & merriment of the Virtual Church website. For that, you may be spared from the deepest pits of the Lake of Fire-but you will need to ask for forgiveness from Holy Saint Cobain for that. He holds the Secret List of Damnation that sends unrepentant reprobates to burn like a crispy piece of chicken on the BBQ!
Danella-please take your self to the Church of Chris Martin Convent of Virginity Among the Blessed Sacrament of Holy Annointing and Sanctuary of Extreme Devotion to the Word & Music Of Coldplay.
There you must strip and offer yourself up in self-mortification to the Glastonbury Pilgrim of your choice. You shall purge all feelings of criticism against this Shrine and placate any unchaste and un-pious thoughts with a virtual series of sufferings meant to mimic those that the Church suffers on a daily basis. Once you are one with us; then the Holy Elders shall vote whether to take you to the Yellow Tent at Glastonbury for a formal evaluation before Saint Bono. This is where your ultimate salvation lies. In the meantime, dearest Danella, shut the Hell up and stay off our website please.
Blessed be all That are Called Forth to Go amongst the heathens and pond scum of this World. May Chris Anoint One and All and continue on His Path to show the World the Way of the Coming of the (Female) Lord!
Greet one another with fellowship and Holy Kisses until We rekindle ourselves at the Glastonbury Yellow Tent and have some fun in the mud! Amen.
Great(ened) Sister Lilith de Sinenomine of C;O;C on 17 May 2010 at 3:02 pm #
Hee hee that’s so fun. Hum, is there any saint way to technically take off this devilish smiley I incidentally put below my last comment? I had a direct Talk with Chris Martin, repenting with all my heart with heavy silvery mass of tears flowing down my face. He mercied me. When he looked at me crying at his feet, he couldn’t help but to cry the same way I did. So we cried very warmly and immediatly after he disappeared with a crystalline Smile on his face. He filled me with his “female” holy spirit and I began to laugh (quietly and then loudly) under the anointing of joy that came upon me. Chris is so good. His mercies will follow me all the days of my life. I know it because I personally know Him (Chris Martin in whom I believe).
And to all church dearest members, I just apologize, saying: “I never meant to cause you trouble, I never meant to do you wrong …” The love of Chris is great, and his mercy infinite, his grace incommensurable. Chris is, Chris was and Chris will come. Chris’deepest love for us is unmeasured, dear brethren. His name saves, saves indeed.
I am cheered and I wish you share with my joy of deliverance and forgiveness in Chris.
Viva!
Great Sister Lilith de Sinenomine Rectifies her English Sentence on 17 May 2010 at 4:02 pm #
Oh, ahm, excuse-me :”saintly way”, not “saint way”. I will ask Chris Martin the gift of speaking in tongues too, so that I could immediatly improve my english language speaking skills. (I’ll do it because of my literary perfectionism…).
Love ye.
Chris Bless Ye.
Sister Lilith Repentance Gesture on 17 May 2010 at 8:33 pm #
Dearest Lilith of the (muddy) Seine:
Brother Watson once defined repentance as a “grace of God’s Spirit, which enables a sinner to be inwardly humbled and visibly reformed. Such a gracious work moves a man to recognize and consider the wickedness of sin. He is thereby humbled and is moved to sorrow for his sin. This godly sorrow is not superficial, but “is a holy agony.”
Thus the gesture of defilement you initiated that so insulted the Church’s good graces-while cursed and vile-is forgiven. Your throwing yourself at Chris’s Holy Feet for mercy was proof of your sincerity and desire for repentance. Such faith and humble piety is precisely what has won the Holy Elders over to accept your recant and move forward beyond this hideous smiley face incident. Let us now put this festering turmoil behind us.
Yes-Sister Lilith de Sinenomine-your company has been requested in the VIP Yellow Tent at Glastonbury. Now the Church can be assured you are not of the coldplaying.com coven of acne prone masturbators. The silvery tears you shed have purified you. Puritan Thomas once said: “The Word of God employs a number of words to describe the many facets of salvation. Many of these words describe God’s sovereign work in man’s salvation. Other terms are used to set forth the conditions of salvation. Faith and repentance are conditions of salvation. Scripture asserts that even the ability to lay hold of salvation is a gift of divine grace. Faith is granted by God to the elect. Repentance also is granted by God’s grace.” The Holy Elders of The Church of Chris Martin hereby do remove Sister Lilith de Sinenomine from all threats of ex-communication and hereticism.She remains among “The Elect.” Her Good Name is to be restored to it’s proper place in the firmament of The Divine Path to Enlightenment and she is granted all privileges due her at Glastonbury and the Yellow Tents. May the wrath of coldplaying.com wankers revisit their Hades of Hell and may the sweet countenance of Lilith shine like an angelic light-beckoning one and all to the truth Path of Salvation that awaits them at The Church of Chris Martin.
May Chris Bless You and Keep You forever in his merciful music! May the Glastonbury Pilgrims not lay a sweaty hand on this Lilith of the Fields-such a lovely visage as yours-Lilith- is deemed proper only for the Saints to ravish and no other lesser souls may desecrate you. Welcome back to the fold! Amen.
By
Da Sista Lilith de Sinenomine on 03 Jun 2010 at 2:06 pm #
lol! yeah the Seine is muddy indeed with all its french craps but I’d like to precise that I don’t inhabit it at all. I live in Paris but fortunately far from the Seine guys! I am not french by genes, I’m french by paper! I like France but I’m keen of the UK too, hum, and why not even to marry a british guy when I’ll be 25? good idea! But I don’t want the kind of british like Robert Pattinson (this very ugly guy), I prefer the kind Chris Martin with his beautiful smile, gentle being and divine heart (and eyes).
Chris Martin is ALIVE!
Viva!
chicks.dig.coldplay on 04 Jun 2010 at 2:30 pm #
dear Sista Lilith:
glad to have you back. So sorry about Bono & Glasto.
I know the Irish Soul Master was looking forward to sharing some bubbly with you- & I don’t mean champagne.
Can also relate to how it is so want to marry Chris Martin but you will just have to get in line with the rest of us. Many Holy Church women have been praying and asking for that special blessing from God.
I know what you mean about Robert Pattinson. He is not attractive to me at all. But when I listen to that live Coldplay CD they gave away at their shows last summer, my heart melts. When Chris makes his little noises and asks if everybody is okay, I start to cry with a joyful countenance. He is the only man alive who can make my heart melt and then it completely opens.
This is proof of his divinity. Dearest Lilith-please remain ever alert to Satanic coldplaying influences overcoming you so that you use the dreaded “smiley face” on your posts and get in trouble again.
Don’t worry about Bono-his back will heal. We will put up the Yellow Tents for sure at Glasto 2011. Maybe then the Saint will stop by for a little “pre-tour training.” You know what that means!!!!
Best Wishes to my Frenchie friend! 42 Your Violet Hill! Viva! Chris Martin Hallelujah!
Sister Lilith de Sinenomine on 08 Jun 2010 at 3:37 pm #
Amen Amen
nikky devil! on 12 Jun 2010 at 3:41 pm #
you ppl! f*** u ppl! jesus is the only saviour. chris is just a normal singer…why r u bitches so dumb??
wake up bitchanas!!! CHRIST not CHRIS!!!! shame on u…in portugues we call people like u ignorantes da merdaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
this is my message for u:wake up dumb ppl,u are sooooooooo lame…
see ya little devils!
Jenna Ovallll from the Oval family!! terererte te! OVAL! on 12 Jun 2010 at 4:23 pm #
yalls hav ta totally like stop worshiping lil chris. he aint no ruddy propheyt or gawd. just cus old colpldayy has good lyrics dusnt mean chris made them all..all the other members helpp tooo..and other people heylp out too…brian eno and stuff..so jus sayin yalls waste ur time. he aint holy
Our Ladies of Fatima Call to Action Against Heathen Scum on 13 Jun 2010 at 7:42 pm #
I know I speak for our Blessed Sista Lilith de Sinenomine out of the Seine when I address all Portuguese defilers, heretics, nay-sayers, pagans, and deniers of the Chris(tian)Word: STOP YOUR DISHONORING NOW!
Our Lady of Fatima-a Holy Shrine in your land of fava beans, olive trees and women with heavy eyebrows and mustaches-speaks the truth of our world. In it, the Blessed Mother castigates those who question the Prophet and those to come.
As such: “My heart grieves over My children in the world. Their hearts are drawn away from me and their mouths utter the black tongue of defiance. My Father is angry. If the children will not listen to the Musical Truths set before them, punishment will come swiftly and none able to stay it. Divine Justice from above will descend on this ungrateful, sinful and morally-destitute pack of besmirchers who dare to defile this Holiest Abode of Sanctity.”
Let these craven Portuguese yodel their plaintive songs of fado! The Blessed Truth has eluded them!
I ask our Great Grunge God in Heaven to strike these female fornicators back to coldplaying.com whereby they may thread and message their way to eternal damnation. I pray that my powerful spiritual Sista Lilith help me to consecrate all imbeciles and dis-believers into the Lake of Fire-where endless Hell damnation and the fiery pits of the Devil await them.
Let It Be Done! Amen!
Lilith de Sinenomine on 17 Jun 2010 at 5:04 pm #
In portugues you say ignorantes merdaaaaaa? In french we say “pof con”. The only one ignoramus here is you mikky devil! I cast you out of this site in Chris’ Name! Never will you come back here. Leave us alone and go worship your Jesus foolishly alone in your HIGHLY CHRISTIANIZED country. Even Jesus Christ himself is not abusive like you are. If you want to defend His sake, then first stop using swear-words that He didn’t use Himself. You have the DEVIL in you because you swear! Ha ha ha ha! You ARE NOT EVEN the witness of Jesus Christ, for Christ has never been abusive despite of all, let me tell you. You are a madman or a madwoman possessed with the evil spirit of NEGATIVE christianism. Your tongue is burnt by the flame of the diabolical HELL, that’s why you swear like that. Go depart from us and never come back, ok? You are WRONG, STUDPID for not knowing we are not serious at all here, so GO AWAY you alone are the DUMBBELL.
Never see ya mikky devil!
love to see Lilith get all up on some idiot! on 18 Jun 2010 at 4:08 am #
you go, Lilith! you tell those hairy olive oil heads off from Portugal. even when you are trying to be mean and curse these devils out, still- Sista you are a shining star of this Church.
No wonder Saint Bono is itching to get you in the Yellow Tent! But you must promise to be gentle with his back! All these people who come on here and leave crap comments are just plain simpletons and ignoramuses but still they need someone spiritual-like you Sista de Sinenomine-to enlighten them-sometimes in a harsh yet maternal manner.
Someday Chris will arise on a white cloud with the angels and harps playing. Every besmircher and pagan fool will then be sorry for their stupid comments that have darkened the doorstep of this Holiest Abode. Until that time, please Lilith-dew drop of the sweetest flower-please continue to let the wanking boneheads have it!
May all the words written by Chris Martin become like a pure gold heart and wrap the world in it’s very essence. May the Coldplay perfume arise in all it’s glory and shine as bright as the noon day sun-blessing one and all in a celestial bath of love!
Amen.
Gabriela on 20 Jun 2010 at 2:00 am #
pathetic..hihihiihih
Sis Lilith De Sinenomine on 21 Jun 2010 at 2:46 am #
love to see Lilith get all up on some idiot!>: for sure! You are covered with the brightness of Chris Martin and God gave you wisdom and good understanding through the enlightenment obtained from Chris!!!!!!
Chris always be with thee dearest brethren of Coldplay.
Lilith-You are Blessed Indeed! on 21 Jun 2010 at 3:39 am #
Dearest Most Precious Angel of the Seine-Lilith!
There is only one other women on this earth who is as deserving of the earthly ardor and love that Chris Martin-in his manifestation of the consuming eternal flame-exhibits in the Strawberry Swing. Other than myself: chicks.dig.coldplay-that would be you-dear Sista Lilith de Sinenomine. We can share him, if you like?
Saint Bono-in an unimpaired state is desirous of some “Coldplay Lyrical Study time” with you also-my most Holy Delicate Frenchie Vixen. You seem to cast a delirious spell over these Soul Masters with your garbled English syntex yet feisty manner in telling off the coldplaying.com wanking smiley-facers.
Sista Lilith-may your spirits soar evermore into the great beyond and may you one day also rise on that cloud with Chris Martin into the musical heavenly spheres and May your Violet Hills Fix You To Kingdom Come. Alight into the realm of Coldplay manifestations & solider on into always protecting and defending the Good Name of The Church of Chris Martin. Blessings in abundance always to Lilith de Sinenomine. Amen.
Sister Lilith de Sinenomine on 22 Jun 2010 at 2:41 pm #
I am not the only one dearest one who wrote above. I am not the only one. U 2 (you too) have been chosen at the same level as I by our Holy Soul Master Chris Martin.
Blessed for ever be His Name.
Hallel be to God through Chris Martin, His holy prophet!
P.S: Hallel means PRAISE.
Jas on 17 Jul 2010 at 2:24 pm #
This is a joke.
Jazz on 19 Jul 2010 at 6:07 am #
You are a joke.
SAD NEWS for the CHURCH on 21 Aug 2010 at 11:09 pm #
DEAREST CHURCH:
It is with a heavy heart that I report that our dear Sister Lilith de Sinenomine-who was reported missing has now been identified as one of the Gypsies that was caught up in the Paris Immigration raids that dismantled many of the Romanian gypsy camps and deported those lacking the proper immigration papers.
Our Flower of the Seine-Lilith-was last seen walking the streets near the Sacre Couer and soliciting for tithe money for the Church coffers. The French Germander in charge told Church authorities that Lilith was engaging in prostitution but these trumped-up charges were a pretext to put her on that chartered one-way flight back to Romania.
Thus our holiest disciple and the one congregant most favored by dear Saint Bono in the Yellow Tents has now been forcefully swept up is a Franco repatriation scheme that smacks of systematic evacuations. Please commence Coldplay lyrical study and light the Holy Chris Martin candles in rememberance of our sweet Lilith. May her fragrant spirit soar evermore among the Gypsy camps that over flow with pick-pockets, thieves, scondrels, vagrants, prostitutes, grifters, and child neglecters.
Perhaps might one Church member step up and marry Lilith in a “union of convenience” so that our Holy Sister might obtain a green card or some legitimate papers to remain in the country? Pray on this matter, Church devotees, and let us hope that this dear, devout parishioner might be welcomed back into the Church fold as soon as possible. Perhaps BrotheRob up in Canada might step up and propose marriage to Lilith, if he is not too busy watching toothless whores stroll DrugWars Vancouver?
May Blessing abound to all who Love Chris Martin! Pray for Lilith! Viva.
Pope Bendict comments on Sister's Situation on 23 Aug 2010 at 5:29 am #
Blessings to All Church Members in Good Standing!
Fortuitous Tidings & Sentiments from Our Catholic Friend- the Pope in Vatican City.
A Delegation of Church of Chris Martin Holy Elders made a courtesy pilgrimage to the Papal Enclave to plead for the well-being of our dear Sister Lilith de Sinenomine. We brought as an official offering- framed flattering pictures of Chris Martin and Holy Chris Candles-made in a factory where only Coldplay music is allowed to play.
This modern day Godly representative of Rome was pleased and gratified with our humble gifts and promised to release a Papal Bull on this most unfortunate circumstance that has befallen our dear French Flower and other French gypsies. Most certainly our own Saint Bono has made his personal wishes known to the Throne of Rome-as he is most fond of our dear little one-Lilith. The Holy Elders of the Church wish to please Saint Bono out of respect for his elevated Sainthood status and friendship with Chris Martin.
Here is a transcript of what Pope Benedict said, at the behest of our urgent pleadings for assistance:
“Pope Benedict XVI, leading his Angelus prayer, appeared to add his voice to the ongoing controversy over the expulsion of Roma gypsy migrants in France by reminding Catholics that they have a duty to welcome people of all origins.” The Supreme Pontiff decried the forced expatriation of certain devout followers of the Anglican-led Church of Chris Martin-particularly a lovely young parishioner seized at the Sacre Couer Church in Paris and forcibly “repatriated” back to Romania.
“Pope Benedict XVI has called upon acceptance of people of all origins and nationalities.” The Pontiff urged people “to know how to accept legitimate differences among humans, just like Jesus came to pull together men from every nation and speaking every language.”
“The pope’s statement was a result of the controversial deportation of Roma migrants, the largest expulsion seen in France since President Nicolas Sarkozy called for tougher action against Roma gypsies living in the country illegally.” Our dearest Sister Lilith was unfortunately swept up in this latest immigration raid and now The Church of Chris Martin prays for her safe return.
The Holy Elders wish to thank Pope Benedict for his
timely words of wisdom. May the Blessings of Chris reign down upon our Roman Friends and Papal pals! Amen.
BROTHERROBERTA on 24 Aug 2010 at 1:56 am #
Okay, I’ll marry her, so long as she looks like (and is as charming) as the woman who played opposite Di Caprio in Titannic, um… Kate Winslet? Yes, that would do, and my sleeping dis-order would soon be no disorder at all. I sleep quite well actually, it’s the living part that gives me nihghtmartes…
As for the Roma sweep-up, I was thinking the other day they are todays equivalent of the Jews during pre-war Germany. We wont burn them today, just send them home, because they do not have the right to exsist, like we who deport them do. A brave new world? How about a sad new world?
Like I said before, I have hope for my own life, but when it comes to humanity and the course of events, maybe there is some preordained future we must all crawl through in order to grow spiritually and become more than we are now. Or at least become aware of what our real capacity to effect good is as spiritual beings existing on the physical plane here on green-world living.
And that fundamentally is who we and everything is at it’s core. Where do you think all the most beautiful music ever composed, created, or “let out” (or how ever else you want to rationalize the existence of “music”) has come from, the WallMart music department?
It all comes from the Infinite which is everywhere at once, including inside me and you. There is no running away from God, because God is who you are and that which is everything behind what appears to be.
And so in a world where despite what they say, gold is still the standard by which all humans are valued, is it any surprise that the Romas are again being victimized, even though as Sad News Above says, some of them are genetic mutants? (as there is in all ethnic groups, myself included).
And so I look forward to the next Coldplay Cd and their return to this part of the world. I should have some good space guiter tunes up soon, sooner, or later.
May God have mercy on us all.
And may the Chris be with you as the wind she blows your flesh away.
Little white shadows, blink and miss them, part of a system a plan I am. Amen to that Brother. Amen to That.
Church of Chris Martin Wedding Committee on 24 Aug 2010 at 6:21 am #
BLESS You, BrotheRob, for agreeing to betrothal Miss Lilith. I can assure you that she is as charming and sanguine as Kate Winslet and if our Saint Bono has got the hots for the gypsy Sister, then she should be just fine for you. (BrotheRob: just so you know, it was NOT Lilith that put Bono’s back out in “pre-tour training,” but another passionate yet pious parishioner who shared a very athletic “Coldplay Lyrical Study” with the U2 front man.) Lilith WILL NOT injure you.
I will attempt to contact the Romanian authorities and try to track down our beloved congregant and let her know of the good news of the arranged Church of Chris Martin marriage to you. This is a divine thing that you are doing, BrotheRob, and finally now-you will have succeeded in having luck with a female.
Nevermind that she is just someone in need of a Canadian visa and permanent residence. YOU HAVE FINALLY scored a HOT CHICK! Providing the Church can locate Lilith, we would propose a uniting ceremony in Stanley Park near the Boat Houses. There, Coldplay music will play continuously. Cardboard cut-outs of all band members and Father Drobbingdon-our spiritual forbearer-will represent the Church at large. The official uniting will-of course-take place in a Yellow Tent. Holy Chris wine will be served and a vegan, Meat-free menu of fair-traded foods and coffee will honor our Soul Master.
The Wedding Committee is thankful to BrotheRob for his extreme devotion to the Church and his willingness to make an honorable woman out of Lilith de Sinenomine. May the glorious music of Coldplay accompany you as you walk through this life, Forevermore uplifted into the firmament of heavenly rapture-whereby the Sacramental Epiphany of Chris Martin will captivate your over-burdened soul and suture your sagging spirit with a melody so pure and unadulterated-that He will Fix You. Amen & Amen.
BROTHERROBERTA on 27 Aug 2010 at 2:30 am #
FIX -YOU? I remeber listening to Coldplay once and thinking how much so many of their songs resmemble lullabies in some way. It feels so good to be soothed by music like they conjure up. Young Christopher was rasied well to his potential, and what a life it’s been so far.
And when the party is over and they present you with the bill, the only amount owed at the end will read: and while you were here, what did you learn?
Learn? I learned what is eternal and of beauty in this world and I learned that hell exists here also in all it’s many guises.
The Roma’s? What about the 60 or so migrants from South and Central America, who somehow scrape together a few grand to pay a subhuman people smuggler - to get them over the border into to America - and who end up being murdered by the Mexican drug cartels for their money?
So where you live their is no hope of food or a job, so you risk life and limb to get somewhere you believe there exsists otherwise, and some narco zombie takes your money and executes you, is a form of hell on earth. A very bloody form you might say, almost like war.
And now the news just in that tides are rising on the Arabian sea, which the Indus empties into? It would now seem to appear that reality can raise it’s very frightening head when ever the hell it so chooses to. Is this world a conscious being which controls us in every way, excepting of course the degree to which we can delude ourselves…
But the the good news is the BrotheRoberta has finally mastered the art of setting up TL, recording with and monitoring from Pro-Tools. It’s like standing in front of a ten foot high wall of vintage Marshals, with your guitar on ten, and you can still make perfect sense of all the noise. I love it and am in an altered state
when I play, and I don’t me stoned or drinking.
I was most inspired at the last show here to see Chis Martin’s shining countenance on the big screen and said to myself, now there’s a man who just says no to pot. If Chris Martin started smoking pot, it wouldn’t be long before he forgot how to turn on his organ. And I don’t mean with the lady’s.
Well I’m starting to make perfect nonsense now so I may as well slink off and plug in the Tonelab. I want Phil Spector to produce me, does he still do work from jail?
Anyway, they say that all the visible Arctic and Antarctic ice we see calving and “melting away”, is only one ten of all the ice that has melted away.
So is it any wonder that land areas are now filing up with water?
And water water everywhere, with not a drop of oil therein.
Venerable Sister Lilith de Sinenomine with broken heart salutes you from Madagascar on 01 Sep 2010 at 10:32 am #
Hail!
It has been a long long time that I you did not see me again on this Holy website. I note that you pathetically missed me. Sorry, I was too busy. But not in prostituting myself for poor money, but in passing some holidays in the capricorn tropic. I missed you these long days, but here I am back again to add to the renown and full grace of the church. Don’t you worry, I did not forget you, you always were and still are in my Coldplay devoted heart. News: my broken heart. I must confess to all church memebers that I’ve been raped and injured by a young malagasy boy’s words that spread hatred to faith in an only one God and his prophet Chris Martin, he’s rather an inveterate adept of satanic ejaculation and poor animism. My cristal-clear heart is now needing Chris Martin’s mending breath to FIX it. We are all lost without Chris Martin, the only holy way to blissful heaven! As for me, I love and prize purity. But here in this shambolic country where I’ve been thrown away because I have commited the sin to procrastinate my depart for sweet dear England, many young people are under the red Devil’s yoke. I cannot even tell you how much I am disgusted by such a devilish behavior. Contrary to UK bands, they have only non-romantic sex and alcohol as their only one hobby. I cannot wait to leave this place that’s not mine. It just doesnt fit my saint’s character and addiction to what is good, noble and pure. Can’t wait to come back to (messed-up) France again in order to be nearer to thee dearly beloved sisters and brothers in Chris Martin’s holy call.
May the divine grace and light that comes from our Soul Master Chris Martin lead me back to you with unsullied, immaculate, and unadulterated body and soul. My honestly Martinian heart is praying for us all , that our faith in Chris Martin remain brilliant for ever. Chris is with you, dear holy chosen ones. May our redeemed hearts never turn to black, may them always dive in contemplation of the white upon a spiritual and pristine Violet Hill.
Chris loves you.
Viva!
God is Great! Lilith Lives! on 01 Sep 2010 at 6:27 pm #
Oh Holy ones and Members of this Blessed Virtual Church!
Our prayers and beseechings have been answered!
Lovely Lilith Lives! Though defiled and consumed by bodily ejaculations by some devil in Madagascar, she walks upright in the blessed spirit of divine love!
It was then NOT Lilith de Sinenomine who was snatched up by those Frog cops in Paris, but maybe some other unfortunate, so Chris Martin-never mind about helping the gypsies. I am sure now that Saint Bono will be wonderously thankful that his Lilith is well and good and keeping our most lusterous Saint happy is a full-time Church obligation!
Dearest Lilith-many “wise” females in the Church could have instructed you in staying away from Brit boys and Englishmen. They are cold-blooded and their hearts are deceptive and impure. Bad skin and bad teeth plus they are mean to their mums. Centuries of inbreeding and fighting the Irish for control of Ireland have tainted their souls and spirits. There is of course, one very vivid exception to this: SOUL MASTER CHRIS MARTIN! And Coldplay!
Because our Church namesake was raised properly by his devoted parents and received a good Church upbringing, he was saved from perdition. His soul is cleansed and his manner upright. One night Chris Martin caught a glimpse and locked eyes with the Female Messiah-in the front row at an early Coldplay show, & she invoked and imprinted her future glory into Chris Martin and Coldplay.
Now it is our righteous obligation to work feverishly world-wide to uphold this magnificent man and his musical endeavors. Though many defilers and nay-sayers may try their best to stop us, we must march onward Chris(tian) soldiers!
Thank you Sister Lilith for arising like a phoenix from the ashes of your downward trajectory in the wilds of Africa. Blessings in abundance to your lovely countenance-The Church NEVER forgot you and The Holy Elders wish to feat you soon at a Lyrical Study Matriculation Dinner. There you will be crowned as one of the ELITE ELDERS and made a Matron of The Yellow Tent-the highest honor allowed and an automatic VIP pass at Glastonbury.
May your sacred spirit soar in the clouds, Lilith-with our Great One-as the new “striped-down” music is envisioned and Thank You to all Church Members for their constant prayers on behalf of Lilith! JUST SAY NO TO PASTY-FACED, cold-blooded Brits EXCEPT for Coldplay! Viva!
BROTHEROB: THANK YOU on 02 Sep 2010 at 9:58 pm #
Dearest BROTHEROB:
Thank you for the offer of your hand in marriage to Sister Lilith. Her immigration problems seemed to have resolved themselves; it is her golden heart that is broken.
I want the Church to see you: our Clositered Canadian Comrade as a GREAT EXAMPLE of a benevolent spirit of generous goodwill. You-Rob were willing to help this lovely lady in her time of need. All Church parishioners and congregants need to look to you, sir, as how to conduct themselves as representatives of The Church of Chris Martin.
It is no wonder that Father Drobbingdon-when he was still a man-looked upon you as a son and Mother Drobbingdon wished for you “in a family way.” May the perilous vicissitudes of this craven world not overcome you, Precious Brother-in spirit or sagacity. I ask Heavenly Saint Kurt Cobain to bless you musically and Saint Bono to offer you the opportunity for some (non-athletic) “pre-tour trainings.”
I am sure I speak for Lilith de Sinenomine when I say thank thee and praise thee, BrotheRob. Amen.
BROTHEROBERTA on 03 Sep 2010 at 3:48 am #
Have you ever wondered that if something which is completely perfect and infinite within it’s own self ever became finite what it might appear to be? Is this universe and existence the finite manifestion of God? If little men with hammers built your house… then maybe something like a God dreamed up you?
Who dreamed you into exitence, the God inside of you?
In a permanent state you might say.
When I listen to the voice of Chris Martin it is easy to understand why Mozart once said that his favorite instrument was the human voice.
So I’m glad to hear that Sister Lilith is okay, or as okay as one can feel in this world today. And thanks for asking Saint Cobain to send me some good grunge vibes from beyond the Great Harmonic, because I’m actually going to rent some practice space to form with, just do that / play music and see what happens. Sounds like a plan to me Mr Bean.
There are some very talented musicians in this town and I should be able to get together Robs’ Band of Straglers’n Strangers before long, when-ever that might be.
But I figure it’s now or never, and as the world and humanity needs to be saved, then I may as well help.
But seriously, one must eventually follow ones heart or all forms of horrible calamity will befall you.
Did Chris Martin really spend the summer at the Hamptons picking blueberries all morning and playing tennis all day long after?
But what really has me spooked to the bone is this flood thing in Pakistan. At first it was just a few drowned people and miscellaneous farm aminals.
And now they are talking about how long it will take to “re-build”. Like next year they have a signed guarantee from God that it won’t happen again? Did not Saint James of Morrison once proclaim to this small and darken world that you cannot petition the Lord?
Peolpe think the Arctic and AntArctic are frozen continents. They’re not, they are frozen oceans.
They are frozen OCEANS and they were frozen for a very good reason it now turns out.
Maybe the good vibes of Brother Chris and his Soul Brothers in Charm can save humanity, maybe Saint Bono could help also.
But we all better hurry now and double up the effort because from where I sit, this Titanic has hit an iceberg.
My Great Grandfather and his family were actually on the Titanic when that happened.
Friends from Canada contacted them and said why not come back with us.
They were already booked on another ship.
And they switched passage onto the Titanic.
Now don’t you go switching passage onto the Titanic of your life just because this world is going nowhere without a hope.
May the Chris be with you as planetary forces beyond description will now shape our world in their own image. And may the Breath of Creation be with you always as you walk through this world, as it is forever with our great Soul Master Chris and ever more thereafter. Amen.