Yes! Although he is a unique individual, his name is common as muck! Here are some of them!
Chris Martin, pharmacist - district manager for five branches of Lloyd’s, responsible for five branches in Stroud and Nailsworth. Staff took Mr Martin for a special retirement meal on August 15, where he was presented with gifts including a garden rocking chair. The father-of-two plans to spend his retirement travelling, gardening and driving patients to hospital as a volunteer. MESSIAH QUOTIENT - 6/10
Chris Martin, footballist (US: soccerer) - 20-year-old Norwich City striker. Something of a philosopher - “There’s still a long way to go in the competition, but it’s a nice win here and we’re through to the next round”, “It was nice to get a game and I think we came away with a win that we probably deserved.” MESSIAH QUOTIENT - 4/10
Chris Martin, American footballist (UK: armoured rugbyer) - recently joined Grandview but committed to play at Notre Dame next season. Martin is a 6-foot-4 245-pound defensive end who is reported to run a sub-4.7 40-yard dash, and able to dominate a game on his pure athleticism only. I do not know what any of that means. MESSIAH QUOTIENT - 2/10
Chris Martin, graphic designer and marketing guru. According to his blog, “Everyone has a story to tell. From the services you provide, to the way you are impacting your world, now you can tell your story to the world.” Sometimes, he doesn’t even untie his shoes when he takes them off: “It depends on how I am feeling at the moment. Most of the time, I just yank the shoe off my foot and throw it on the floor.” Clearly, he tries WAY too hard. MESSIAH QUOTIENT - 0/10
Chris Martin, singer, songwriter, philosopher, poet and messiah. Sings in Coldplay and tends to save souls. Married to Gwyneth Paltrow. IS THE MESSIAH. MESSIAH QUOTIENT - ?/10.
Bono out of U2: “He’s a good melodist, but he’s a wanker. He’s obviously a completely dysfunctional character and a cretin, but he happens to be a great melodist and up there with Paul McCartney, Nate Dogg and Mark King.”
David “The Hoff” Hasselhoff: “I love those guys. I mean I really dig them. That’s a cool thing to say, right? Everybody?”
Tom “The Crew” Cruise: “Fuck Scientology!”
Miley Cyrus: “In my other life, I would definitely be, like, Chris Martin’s dream girl. He’s awesome, he’s, like, the most amazing performer. When I went to a show, he was like a saint.”
Robert “Syndrome” Downey, Jr.: “He’s a skinny guy. Like the skinniest guy I ever met, right? He’s got ribs like a toast rack in a condom. Skinny, period. But I could play a skinny guy. I should play a skinny guy…”
Kate Moss: “Fuck Coke!”
Barack Obama: “Where do you think I got the idea to save the world? Now get that muthafuckin microphone outta my mothafuckin face!”
Fran Healy out of Travis: “Chris Martin doesn’t sleep. If you plugged him in you could power a small Scottish town with all of his energy. He helped me reconstruct my tepee.”
Coldplay were profiled on 60 Minuteslast week, which included a tour around their studio. At one point Chris gestured to a list of band rules, and the camera panned around quickly to show a flash of a piece of paper stuck to the wall.
The CoCM recorded the show on our front-loading VCR and by cleverly using the “pause” button, we have been able to decode and transcribe the list for you. All hail!
Albums no longer than 42 minutes - means we have to write less stuff
We made poverty history. Fair Trade and all that is going well. What’s next? LET’S CURE CANCER!!!1!
Never mention that Chris is going bald ;¬)
While we’re at it, dont mention the “messiah” thing. We don’t want to piss off the Islams. Plus, it really annoys Gwyneth.
Only rip off Radiohead on marketing ideas from now on, IE offering free downloads etc. In Rainbows was rubbish, anyway.
Also, Keane have ruined the falsetto/piano thing forever. Sing in lower voice and maybe try strings or something instead?
Remember the rhythm/drums - less Oasis, more Level 42.
Computers are not recording aids. But they do run the backing tapes we use at gigs, but no-one’s noticed yet SO KEEP IT TO OURSELVES!!
Make the production brilliant, the songs classics and the whole thing totally original. Don’t think anyone’s tried that before.
(Like Indiana Jones, three just wasn’t enough, and we’re back with a fourth installment of Chris’s incomparable proverbs and parables. Except this doesn’t involve George Lucas. Which means it doesn’t have to have a badly-written scene in a 1950s diner.)
On Barack Obama: You remember when Take That came back? It feels like that for America.
On Coldplay: Like millions of people in the world, I can’t listen to Coldplay.
For every song released we have 20 that are even worse.
We are the best band in the world, but I just wish my hair wasn’t falling out.
On Radiohead: I bought three copies [of In Rainbows], and paid 10 pounds each, but I never got them. The download thing didn’t work… I wound up buying them on vinyl. But I don’t mind. I owe Radiohead a bit more than 30 pounds, let’s face it. We owe them a career, really.
On Fatherhood: Men should always change diapers. It’s a very rewarding experience. It’s mentally cleansing. It’s like washing dishes, but imagine if the dishes were your kids, so you really love the dishes.
There’s nothing weird about calling your baby Chewbacca if that’s what you want to call your baby. It’s no stranger than Sarah.
On Tattoos: I recommend getting a tattoo whether you are 70 or 12 – actually, maybe not 12, I think that might be a bit too young.
On Headlining Glastonbury: Afterwards I went back to my parents’ house and got told off for not putting the milk away.
On Gwyneth: She’s a big Hollywood star and I’m just the bloke from Coldplay.
{This is the third in a series. The first part can be found here, the second part here.}
The Cold Mountain Singers, brothers Tom and Jim Gilhooley, parted in 1949, on the eve of their 33rd birthday. The reasons for their split are still unknown, although Jim’s marriage to a minor Hollywood actress is generally believed to have driven a wedge between them. Others have suggested that Jim was planning on going solo. Whatever the reason, it would be almost fifteen years before they played together again.
Jim went to Nashville, where his stellar - but short-lived - success and subsequent alcoholism are well documented. We will look at his career later. Tom Gilhooley, however, returned to Hatchenchubee, to tend the family farm and look after their aging mother. She was to die only eight months later.
“Violet Hill” was recorded solo by Tom around this time. The song and the recording are informed by his isolation and feelings of loneliness and abandonment. It was never released in his lifetime.
“Violet Hill” is the first fruit of our ongoing project to reconstruct some of the damaged or degraded recordings left by the Cold Mountain Singers. After months of work (paid for by the tax payer, due to our on-going legal dispute with Coldplay) we are now able to post a NEVER BEFORE HEARD RECORDING by this legendary country act. Enjoy.
Bono out of U2: “He’s a good melodist, but he’s a wanker. He’s obviously a completely dysfunctional character and a cretin, but he happens to be a great melodist and up there with Paul McCartney, Nate Dogg and Mark King.”
Tom “The Crew” Cruise: “Fuck Scientology!”
Kate Moss: “Fuck Coke!”
(Like Indiana Jones, three just wasn’t enough, and we’re back with a fourth installment of Chris’s incomparable proverbs and parables. Except this doesn’t involve George Lucas. Which means it doesn’t have to have a badly-written scene in a 1950s diner.)
On Fatherhood: Men should always change diapers. It’s a very rewarding experience. It’s mentally cleansing. It’s like washing dishes, but imagine if the dishes were your kids, so you really love the dishes.
