The Church of Chris Martin

Look at the stars, see how they shine for you…

31 years ago on the 2nd day of March, a great prophet was born. (AKA Chris Martin.)

When that other great prophet, Jesus, was born, a star appeared in the sky above that showed wise men the way.

The Christians have been trying to explain the star of Bethlehem for centuries. Was it a comet? A supernova? Or something altogether more spiritual? No-one knows for sure.

But now, the CoCM can announce – we have found our star.

It is located at right ascension 0h38m27s, declination 4*51′50″ and is numbered 1708064 in the AXAF guide.

It is not actually yellow, more a cool red. It may not be visible to the naked eye, and it may not be visible from the Northern parts of Europe and the US, but IT IS OUR STAR.

And all it needs is a name.

VOTE NOW!

No Comments » Posted by drobbingdon / news and site news

It looks like the Church of Chris Martin’s daring critique of the state has finally come to the attention of “the Powers that Be”.

New York magazine have published what can only been seen as a vicious attack on the Church of Chris Martin. This week’s Vulture column features a blatant pastiche of the Church’s Viva la Vida post.

First, the piece “borrows” the track-by-track breakdown format. Next, they mock our assertion that “Lost” was inspired by the hit TV show, claiming that it contains ridiculous “lyrics” about “Kate, Locke and Sayid”.

But the biggest affront comes in their description of 42: “Some have speculated that the title of this upbeat track is an allusion to Douglas Adams’s The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy as Martin is an admitted fan of the book.” For “some”, read “The Church of CM”, AKA “me”.

“Actually,” the piece continues, “It’s a tribute to the 42 people who currently hold the Guinness World Record for the largest number of persons to fit in a car at once (the Moss Bay Majorettes from Jacksonville, Florida, who crammed into a Jaguar XJ6 in August of 1984).” New York magazine seems to have forgotton that Chris Martin is English, and unlikely to be concerned with small towns in Florida, Louisiana or even Wisconsin, as the “article” claims.

So what can we make of this? Is New York magazine so chronically short of ideas that it needs to mock an honest religion? And if you want a religion to ridicule, what’s wrong with Scientology?

Or is what the Church is saying SO DANGEROUS that the New York intelligentsia need to SILENCE us? Do they need to crucify someone, just because we have found the new Messiah, JUST LIKE THE LAST TIME? It’s not like we denied the Holocaust or anything!

{The Church of Chris Martin will return with “What Holocaust?” - stay tuned!}

No Comments » Posted by drobbingdon / news and site news

The Church of Chris Martin is changing to a new format - a blog.

Instead of posting little things on the forum, and updating the site with a load of good new stuff whenever we have it, we’re going to post everything on here. If you subscribe via rss, you’ll be able to get new content everytime someting happens in the Religion of Chris Martin, without having to remembering to check the site. Instead of a seperate forum, the comments beneath each post will act as a mini-forum where you can respond and comment.

To make sure that we get off to a great start, I’ll be mixing new stuff with classic stuff from the archives, stuff that you might have forgotten or missed altogether.

So please, bear with us while we get the new site up and running. It will be worth it.

3 Comments » Posted by drobbingdon / site news