Graphology is the art of telling a person’s personality from their handwriting. This is Chris Martin’s signature. What does it tell us about the man they are calling the “College Rock Messiah“?
- ‘Chris’ is written in capitals, but ‘Coldplay’ is written in lower-case. From this, we can tell that Chris is more important than the other guys in the band.
- There is an unusual distance between the period and the of the signature. This shows that he is thoughtful, with a quick, intelligent mind.
- Finally, people whose handwriting slopes downwards to the right are often prophets of some kind.
May 28 2008 | Did you know!? | No Comments »
WHAT WE BELIEVE
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Chris Martin is the New Messiah 
Intolerance is WRONG
Fair Trade seems a good idea
Keane are frankly derivative
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WHAT WE ARE AGAINST
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Rasism 
Sexism
Starving Children
Fake-ness
Big Corporations
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May 22 2008 | Doctrine | 2 Comments »
It’s not just the song - many things which are YELLOW are GOOD THINGS!
Bananas - GOOD THING - but only if they’re Fair Trade!
Daffodils - GOOD THING - because they remind us that WE ALL LIVE IN A BEAUTIFUL WORLD.
Chinese People - Good thing - because of the affordable, high quality musical instruments they produce, such as Takamine and Paiste. Also, Racism is a BAD thing.
BUT WHY YELLOW”? |
Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah they were all Yellow
I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things that you do
And it was called Yellow
So then I took my turn
Oh what a thing to have done
And it was all Yellow
Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
You know you know I love you so
You know I love you so
I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh what a thing to do
’cause you were all Yellow
I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all Yellow
Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
And you know
For you I’d bleed myself dry
For you I’d bleed myself dry
It’s true.
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 It’s obviously nothing to do with stars cos lots of them are red or blue and stuff, and anyway mostly white. Has it anything to do with it being CM’s fave colour? Or is it, as KERRANG! claimed, because the song is “pish”? No! - it’s because yellow is the colour of Jesus Christ!
The Christ, as presented by Christianity, is fundamentally an amalgam of two archetypes - Corn Gods, such as Adonis and Attis, and Sun Gods like Osiris or Mithra, all of whom are young men who die and are reborn. And both corn and the sun are yellow!
The sun is reborn at the winter solstice, the 25th of December, and the corn is resurrected in the spring. This is not a coincidence. Note also that the Christian Sabbath is on a SUNday, not Saturday as the Jewish is.It is another example of how Chris Martin builds up layers of Christian imagery in his lyrics to hint at his true mission - OUR SALVATION. Look at the song again - who “came along” and “took his turn” to tell Mankind to turn our mortal “skin and bone… into something beautiful” and divine? Who else was prepared to “bleed [themselves] dry” for the sake of Humanity?
(Answer - Jesus Christ.) |
May 16 2008 | Doctrine and interpretation | 2 Comments »
Violence: Heavy
Racism: None (Morgan Freeman’s in it)
Homophobia: None
Blasphemy: None
I suppose the reason I’ve always liked Batman is that unlike all the other superheroes, he doesn’t actually have any superpowers. He can’t fly, wasn’t bitten by a mutated spider nor changed by radiation - he’s just a regular guy with some hi-tech toys and something to prove.
A lot like Chris Martin, really. He’s a normal man, who just tries a little harder than the rest of us. By living his life more purely, he has become what he wanted - The Messiah.
Sure, Batman may be a bit of a vigilante, but nobody’s perfect. He’s headstrong with ideals, makes mistakes, and sometimes acts before he thinks. But instead of a angry, violent man with a fetish for rubber, we see a man who is battling his personal demons, and trying to do what’s right. Those who have been part of the Batman era for a long time know that Batman’s no killer - he cares about others and wants to do the right thing. Just like Chris Martin. So anyone who says he shouldn’t have hit that journalist, or scraped the other guy’s car with his keys can shut up because he’s no worse than Batman, and everyone knows Batman is cool.
This is the fifth Batman movie - but the first one to get it right. It is far and above the last 4, and probably even better than Spider Man but in a different way. I’m also glad that whacko Tim Burton isn’t allowed to make them anymore. It’s brilliantly directed by Christopher Nolan, and Christian Bale is brilliant as Bruce Wayne/Batman (oops! possible spoiler!) Katie Holmes out of Dawsons Creek is brilliant AND gorgeous as Wayne’s childhood sweetheart, even if she is a Scientologist.
Batman Begins shows the importance of compassion, especially to those that don’t deserve it. Batman’s motivation is a reminder that it is not only what you do, but why you do it. Indeed, our actions are open to misinterpretation, and erroneous conclusions being formed - like Chris and the journalist. This movie reminds us that the decent, moral position is to understand, that evil is actualy the result of being poor, and that criminals are to be understood and treated and helped, rather than justly punished and locked up like they deserve.
There was a strong message here about facing your fears, about learning to control them, and using them to your advantage, that was very poignant. Truly, I could picture Chris watching this film.
I loved this film - straight off the bat!
May 12 2008 | reviews | No Comments »
EXCLUSIVE: Coldplay’s music isn’t just hugely successful – it can cure diseases beyond the scope of modern medicine, it is claimed.
Chris Martin must feel pretty lucky these days – he sells millions of records, he’s won a Grammy, and has two children with his beautiful film star wife, and all by the age of 30. His rapid rise to fame has been nothing short of miraculous.
Now it seems like that might be literally true. An Invernesian man is claiming that his meeting with the Coldplay singer has cured him of a chronic illness.
Scott Macdonald (47) has suffered from the debilitating and painful condition Spine Abifida since birth. It left him unable to work and in need of constant care. But Scott is an optimistic soul, and never let the disease squash his spirit.
“I’ve always loved music. It’s helped me deal with my condition,” said the brave youngster. “I taught myself to play the guitar. Coldplay are my favourite band because they’re brilliant and their songs are so uplifting, and so I was delighted when my best friend bought me tickets to see them playing at the S.E.C.C.”
After the show, Scott was invited backstage with all the other wheelchair cases to meet the band. “They were all lovely,” he says, “but when I shook hands with Chris, something funny happened. It felt like I was being electrocuted, but in a nice way. I looked up at him and he just smiled… A week later, my Spine Abifida had cleared right up.”
He insists that Chris Martin somehow healed him, spontaneously and miraculously, and amazingly, he’s not the only one. A Ukrainian woman has alleged that hearing ‘Yellow’ cured her jaundice, and a 15-year old girl seems to have regained her sight during ‘In My Place’ at a Hamburg concert. However, there is no evidence at present to back the claims up. Chris Martin has thus far declined to comment.
Perhaps finding that evidence is a job for ‘The Scientist’. Hoping to avoid ‘Trouble’, this blog suggests that perhaps these individuals experienced nothing more than ‘A Rush of Blood to the Head’.
May 09 2008 | Church History and miracles and news | No Comments »
{This is the last part - for now - in our series collecting the wit and wisdom of Chris Martin.These proverbs can be memorised, tattooed, carved in stone, anything - just as long as you carry the words with you always.}
On Bono: I felt like a fourth-rate Bono. Later on, I felt like a third-rate Bono and hopefully it’ll escalate until I feel like a full-on Bono.
On Hello!: If a celebrity magazine is in an airport lounge, I’ll have a look. I like gossip as much as the next man. But then, I’ll bump into someone I’ve read about and I’ll say, ‘Oh, I read so-and-so…’ and I curse myself, because I hate people coming up to me and going, ‘Chris I read that you’re macrobiotic, is that true?’ And I say, ‘Well, no, not really.’
On the Threat to the Middle Classes: If the world keeps going the way it is, it’s going to be bad for everybody, not just for poor people.
On the Wu-Tang Clan: We are just a bunch of students. I’d think, “Gosh, I’m just some public-school boy with my house colours… ” I haven’t got any experiences as valid as the Wu-Tang Clan.
On Politics: I would say don’t be such a stupid c**t, because to say politics and music don’t mix is to say that politics and gardening don’t mix, or politics and plumbing. Politics concerns everybody.
On Kraftwerk: Kraftwerk are obviously in the top three bands of all time. They’re amazing. This is going to sound highly pretentious, but I was reading a book about Leonardo Da Vinci, and it said he was like a man who had woken up in the dark before everyone else got up hours later. That’s like listening to Kraftwerk.
CHRIS BE WITH YOU!
May 07 2008 | Did you know!? | No Comments »
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